Happy Birthday Jesus....I'm so Glad it's Christmas....the REAL gift is YOU

I don't know if any of you remember this song...
happy Birthday Jesus
I'm So Glad Its Christmas
all The Tinsel And Lights
and The Presents Are Nice
but The Real Gift Is You.

happy Birthday Jesus
I'm So Glad Its Christmas
all The Carols And Bells
make The Holiday Swell
and it's All About You
happy Birthday Jesus
Jesus I Love You!

I remember hearing this on the radio all the time...I haven't heard it this year but I always think of it when Christmas comes around. It's a short song sung usually by a little kid...but it has such great meaning...Yesterday we celebrated a pretty awesome Holiday. Over the last 30 days we've all decorated our houses...put up our tree's and frantically shopped for gifts for the people who are important to us...but why? What is the significance of putting all these decorations up, only to take them all back down a month later...What is the significance of wrapping all these gifts...spending all this time looking for that perfect gift...only for it to be "over" in fifteen minutes. If it weren't for Christ we wouldn't have this Holiday at all.
I will admit my family did not go without this year...all you have to do is look at my pictures to see that we had plenty. The kids especially got a lot...and I believe everyone in our family got the ONE thing they wanted for Christmas at least...but how many times did we pause in the midst of opening gifts, and telling the kids "Santa" brought this stuff, to really think about what this Holiday is about? When I went to bed Wednesday evening all I could think of was the importance of Christmas day...and I woke up to the thought of what the Holiday was about...Jesus Christ...God in the form of man...but throughout the busy day I didn't stop once to think of this again.
My point isn't to condemn gifts on Christmas...or to have fun with the family and kids...I love my gifts...and I LOVED spending the day with my family--it was very precious to me. My family is very important to me, and spending time with them yesterday meant the world to me...but none of this would have been possible without Christ. I wouldn't be here. My family wouldn't be here. Life would have no purpose...but because of the great love of God coming to earth in the form of man...we have a reason to celebrate! We have perfect reason to enjoy Christmas...to love each other...to give gifts...as long as we remember the ultimate gift of Jesus Christ =)

Do What Moves You

I just finished watching Jamie from To Write Love On Her Arms give an interview on CNN live at CNN.com His interview was short, simple, but moving. One of the things that he said that really captured my interest was "Do what moves you, do what you feel strongly about"--Jamie had this huge job at Hurley for years where he was making six figures, and he gave that job up in order to be the light at the end of a dark tunnel. To help people who are suicidal and who inflict harm on themselves. He gave all that up because he wanted to love people.
I am more than passionate about this cause and this movement. I wish I could show people how strongly I feel about this movement...and all I can do right now really is support them and pray that this movement will continue to take off. This makes the second appearance that Jamie has made on any national TV website or channel...This movement is getting bigger and it is going places.
This movement isn't just about suicide or preventing self harming actions...it's about what we are all called to do. To love. I say this all the time. God is love. The greatest commanded is to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength...and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. LOVE. O my Goodness if we could all just love the way God loves. Of course we are human and we fail greatly...but to at least strive to this love.
This movement is very near and dear to my heart for many reasons that few people really know--and it moves me to tears sometimes to see my friends who have taken the leap to understand why this movement is so important to me...and to join in this cause in helping fight against addictions and depression and all that To Write Love On Her Arms stands for...These friends have followed the step to love...I want to challenge people to really take to time to possibly just go to www.twloha.com and really see what this movement and cause is all about. Just read the story, and take a few minutes to understand that it's not just an "emo" thing or a shirt that I wear or whatever else...it's so much greater.
I want to do what moves me...I want to do what I love...which is why I know when I finish college I'll be doing so much more than I'm striving for with my degree...because God has called me to greater things...to love his people in a way that others might not understand....
I am done now...I just really want to challenge everyone to really do what they're called to do...and to love the way they are called to love.

Starting Thanksgiving Off early with a little Thanks

Thanksgiving is tomorrow...I can not believe it has been another year. I really feel like this year just flashed before my eyes. It brought forth a lot of blessings. I don't think it should take a Holiday for us all to realize what we are thankful for, but in the feel of the Holiday I want to make a list of the things I am thankful for...and I encourage others to do the same

1. The never-ending Grace that my Heavenly Father has given me
2. Two parents who take care of me when I do not deserve half of what they give me sometimes
3. My brothers and their wives...for putting up with me even though I am unbearable at times
4. My nieces and nephew...need I say more?
5. The few great friends I have that I feel like are more than just my friends...but they are family
6. My Grandparents...who raised me to know God...and who love me with a great amount of love.
7. An education, and the opportunity to further my education that I take advantage of most of the time

This list could go on and on...there's so much I have been blessed with in my life...and without God none of it would be possible. I know Thanksgiving is traditionally a North American Holiday or an American Holiday...but it's more than that...To me it's about taking time and realizing what I've been given in my lifetime as a child of God...not just a Citizen.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Snow?!? In NOVEMBER!??

So if you're from Eastern N.C. you know it does not snow here very often. It especially does not snow here in November. Tuesday we got a few snow flurries which I thought was really crazy--just last week it was like 80 degrees here and all of a sudden we're getting snow flurries...This morning I woke up and was getting ready and I heard the sound of "rain" outside--For a second I was like "Grr! I don't want to walk in the rain to class!" but then I looked out and I did not see rain...I saw SNOW. Lots of snow! I still didn't really think anything of it because I figured it was just going to last for a few minutes and turn into rain or whatever else...as I walked outside to get in my car I saw a storm of snow going on. I was thinking to myself "this is insane!"
If you know me you know that I have never really been a fan of snow. I am definitely a warm weather person. To me snow has never been pretty--it's honestly just frozen precipitation that causes a lot of issues.
Today however, my attitude of the change was a little different. This week has been really overwhelming for me...It's just been very stressful and a lot has been going on. Today I view the snow as almost like God cleaning up this week. Even though I've never enjoyed snow I look at it as a refreshing, clean look at the world...and it's almost like God said "Hey look it's the end of the week and your work is done, I'm washing away the stress and everything else that has overwhelmed you this week"
I'm at peace today--and it's fantastic. So today--I do not despise the snow--I love it...I'm thankful for it...I'm thankful for my Heavenly father who washes me clean just as I'm viewing the snow washing everything clean.

It took time, but...

One name under heaven whereby we must be saved
Forgiven of my sins, baptized in the water
Filled with the Holy Ghost, and
Washed in the blood of the Lamb
Free really free my friend
Freed by the blood of the Lamb
God's gonna move this place
God's gonna move this place
God's gonna turn this whole world upside down

The past two days this song has been stuck in my head. It's one that I learned last summer (2007) and for some reason it's been in my head the past two days. I've been singing it to myself and realizing how true it's words are. I'm free. I'm forgiven. I've been baptized and I am forgiven of any sin that could have ever taken over me. I've known this all along...but I guess knowing and believing are two totally different things. I have a hard time accepting the fact that I'm loved by God and I'm forgiven of anything. A lot of the time I let these lies fill my head that I'm not good enough...but, I know the truth. The truth is, I've been saved. I've been washed in the blood of the lamb. I am forgiven. It's a pretty awesome feeling.

Also, a friend of mine sent me this link to this video a few days ago...and I find it to be so awesome. Yay Michael Tait.

A strange...maybe even Geeky revelation

Does anyone else remember this game?
Tetris...I used to play it all the time when I was younger. Being an A.D.D kid it was probably the one thing I could focus on for more than a few minutes....I used to play this game for hours on end. Lately while I've been at work I have been playing it just because I've been bored...and I came across this strange revelation.
Call me a geek for connecting Christianity with a video game but I think it's actually a pretty cool revelation.
When you start off playing tetris you might start off doing really well. All the blocks will fit perfectly together...the lines are breaking down...things are going smoothly...then all of a sudden you get this block that does not fit. You start to get a cap between your blocks, and before you know it your tower is reaching the ceiling, thus causing you to almost lose the game...but WAIT. You get another block that breaks down like 10 of your lines. You're once again going smoothly.
I relate this to Christianity in the sense that a lot of the time in our Christian walk that's how it goes. Especially if we're new Christians. Things are looking up. Life's going smoothly. You and Jesus are tight...then all of a sudden things come a long that really start to hinder your relationship with God. Things don't quite fit into place...and you feel like you're defeated and losing...and then all of a sudden God reaches down and makes everything okay again. It might take a while. We might start to sweat and think we're really about to lose--but then it all becomes okay once again.
I guess I realized this when I was playing today and I was getting frustrated because I had all my blocks in place and then one came along that didn't quite fit...and so I started to do badly...
I think it's a cool revelation and I just thought I'd share it.

My God IS enough

i've had enough of living life for only me
and reaching just for the things
that keep destroying me
so sick of envying the lives of so many i see
somehow believing that they have what i need
my God's enough for me
this world has nothing i need
in this whole life i've seen
my God's enough, enough for me
i can't explain why i suffer though i live for You
those who deny You, they have it better than i do
cover my eyes now so that my heart can finally see
that in the end only You mean anything
who have i but You
who have i but You
who have i but You~ Barlow Girl "My God's Enough"

This weekend...for the first time in a long time...I had a conversation with God. I realized...if no one else was listening to me...He would. And He has. This world sucks. People fail. It feels like the world is against us...but then I remember...if my God is for me...WHO can be against me? No one.
I have one of the greatest friends in the world who has really been trying to get me to understand this. She's been trying to get me to be comfortable enough to talk to God. To express how I feel to God, even if it feels like He's not listening. Even if I get angry with God. Even if I feel like walking away from God. When it feels like God is against me...because life get's hard. God's never against me. He has different answers to problems than I want sometimes. He knows what I can handle...and he rescues me sometimes at what feels like the very last second of rescue.
We serve an amazing God who loves us. Me and God got pretty tight this weekend. I know He loves me. I know He wants to rescue me. I know He knows what's going on in my heart and in my life, even when no one else can understand. When I'm having issues that only I can understand...I realize there's one other person who Does...and that's God. When no one else understands what's going on in my head...God always will.

Man what a breakthrough.

The things that make me smile

I've had a hard week...but this weekend I am home and I am with the 3 cutest kids in my life. I have realized that I can have the hardest week in the world, the suckiest day on earth, and see my nieces and nephew and all that is wiped away. I have the most awesome nephew ever. I love him so much, He stole my heart the day he was born.
I love hanging out with Him and my nieces...Kids are so innocent...so honest...so pure...and I love it.
Today we went to the pumpkin festival in Spring Hope. It wasn't great, but it was awesome to hang out with my nephew. I took him to get his face painted after the parade was over...and we hung out and talked and sang the alphabet and counted to ten...(mind you He is 3)--I dunno...I just think it's awesome
So I leave you with some pretty sweet pictures

Ethan and I before we left to go to the pumpkin Festival...I love his facial expression in this picture
Her eyes are closed in this picture but it's still cute to me.

Miss. Sarah =)

I pretty much love these kids

The most beautiful song I've heard lately...

No words are needed by me...just watch the video

Surrendering fully

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be freeI know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

This morning I was listening to my iPod and this is the song that really stuck out to me. It's by Barlow Girl, and I think the meaning of it is so strong. How often do we say we're going to give something to God, and then decide not to? We feel like the things that need to be surrendered are what make us who we are. They're our "dreams"...they're a part of us. They make us unique, even if the things we need to surrender are bad for us.
I'm talking to myself here too. It's so much easier said than done. There are things I have said have been surrendered, but really I still hold on to these things for dear life....
Our futures...Different addictions....situations that are out of our control. I remember this summer at the conference I went to in Indiana one of the work shop leaders told us that there is no blue print for our life. That...if we live our lives for the future we are looking to ourselves, but if we live day to day--then we start giving up to God and then He will reveal His great plan to us.
Like I said...so much easier said than done...but it's possible.

LOVE is the movement!!!

Hey everyone

As you all know I am a huge advocate and promoter for "To Write Love on her Arms" and it has brightened my day more than I think anyone can know to see that they made it to the NBC nightly news. 

I encourage you all to watch these videos and see the meaning in this story. Open your hearts. Open your MINDS. Realize that pain is real. Depression is real. Learn to love...and then take action =)

Social Justice in a world of Injustice

So the past few Sunday nights we (CCF) have been studying social justice. This week (the 21st) will make our last week of studying it... however in just two weeks I've learned more, swallowed more, seen more than I ever thought imaginable. The main idea of the study is to make us aware of what's going on in the world as far as injustice... that includes our country. The thing about becoming aware of things like this, is after becoming aware it's impossible to deny that you know it. It's impossible not to do anything--because injustice and justice are on the heart of God.

The first week of the study we learned about different things going on outside of our country (and a little inside)--my group read on unprosecuted rapists. The story I read broke my heart. A lot of these men who rape people as young as 3 and 4 years old go totally unpunished. The story I read included a 4 year old little girl who lived in Kenya and was raped by her neighbor. He threatened her life, and told her she should not tell anyone. Eventually she told her Mom who went to the authorities. The man who raped the little girl threatened their family, and went unprosecuted for a long time. Then the International Justice Mission (IJM) got involved and brought justice to this situation. 

There were other stories too--such as female genital mutilation...sex trafficking...etc. 

This past Sunday night haunted me. It broke my heart and it still has not left my mind. We learned about sex trafficking--however the thing that broke my heart was that it occurs in the United States. I've always had a lot of interest in sex-trafficking. I saw a movie a few years ago called "Trade" by Lionsgate films...and the film was based around sex-trafficking in Mexico. However, this Sunday evening we learned that Atlanta, GA has one of the biggest sex-trafficking sites in the world. www.innocenceatlanta.org is a website that talks more on this topic. It BROKE my heart. We watched a few short clips of sex-trafficking in Cambodia. It made me so angry because there are men who will pay to take a vacation to these countries just to have sex with little girls as young as 5. One man was a doctor from America who was on vacation. Another man was caught eventually and was a fined sex offender from America. He was charged and put in prison for 22 years a few years ago. Others were only put in jail for 8 years or less. The started the sex-trafficking in Atlanta because these "vacations" were starting to get expensive. The thing that kills me the most is that these things happen... and people know about it... and nothing is done about it. IT HAPPENS IN OUR COUNTRY AND NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT! It literally makes my blood boil. I can not stand to think of the fact that this goes on in the United States... but then I remember that the United States isn't perfect either. 

I feel like I have to do something now. It's not just an "o... well that happens, and that's sad but there's nothing I can do"--NO. My heart is broken for the injustice that is happening right here in our Country--supposedly the "land of the free"--that's a bunch of bull to say we're the land of the free when we have such horrid acts happening here. Free to sin. Free to be unjust. Free to ask God's forgiveness after we do something...yet continue on our mary way not thinking twice about what we're not doing to stop things. 

Jaime gave us scripture to look up about how God feels about Justice... and a few stuck out to me. 

"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor he too will cry out and not be answered" ~ Proverbs 21:13

"When you spread out your hands in prayer I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow" Isaiah 1:15-17

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you for you, LORD have never forsaken those who seek you. Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done. For he who avenges blood remembers; he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted." Psalm 9:9-12

"Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked." Jeremiah 20:13

I realize not everyone is called to these certain situations... but there's injustice all around. There are opportunities all around for us to take part in. Be the light God has called you to be. Show the justice God loves. Do what God has commanded. Be who God has called YOU to be =)

The power of Prayer...and the power of love

The past couple of days I've been thinking a lot about the power of prayer...and the power of love. What is prayer? Prayer is a conversation with God. Talking with God where ever we are. Getting on our knees, or bowing our heads, or just coming reverently before God as we walk along. Prayer is an amazing tool we have. We can intercede for other people when they need us to. We can talk to God about anything. Yes...God already knows what we're going to say, but it's building a relationship with God. He loves us and He wants us to talk to Him. Prayer isn't just talking to God though, it's listening to what He has to say also. It's sitting reverently and hearing God tell us his answers to things...what He wants us to do or..NOT to do It's showing God that we LOVE Him and we want to spend time with Him. 

The power of Love....One of my favorite verses in the Bible, as most people know, is 1 John 4:8. "Whoever does not know God does not love, because God is Love" we belong to God...if we are fully His...we will have compassion and love for everyone, because God loves. It's a difficult thing to do sometimes. I know for me...it's a huge deal for me. I don't always love everyone. I don't always love myself--and sometimes I have to spend a day to remind myself that I need to love ME. I'm not saying that in a vain or conceited way...I'm saying it in the sense that if I do not love myself--it's going to be really hard...almost impossible....for me to love anyone else. Love comes from knowing God and spending time with Him. Seeing His love, and then being proactive with that. 

I didn't get the chance to hear the bullhorn preacher on the mall yesterday--but I hear a lot about him. Mainly that he did not preach love, as most of them do not. I'm not judging every bullhorn preacher...I'm not going to say that I love any better than they do...I'm simply stating that if Love is not felt in the manner in which these preachers are trying to share Christ--no one is going to listen. A friend of mine told me that he didn't want to preach the "fluff" or "tickle" anyone's ears. He simply wanted to preach what the Bible said. The Bible is written by the creator of Love!!! God LOVES us unconditionally...His goal for us is not eternal damnation--He wants everyone to know and Love him as passionately as He loves US. Those who do not accept God will go to hell, yes, but that's never God's intention. Christians need to love. To share the hope of the gospel. To PRAY without ceasing. 

As the semester has started again...I want to cover our campus in prayer. Blanket it with the love of God. I don't know what will ever come from that, only God does...but it will require compassion for the people on our campus. I know CCF is huge on prayer walking...and at first I had a hard time with the prayer walk thing because I really felt like it got redundant after a while--however prayer can never be redundant. Prayer is powerful...and God listens to our hearts. If our hearts and minds are focused...God will answer our prayers the way He wants to. 

Making God known throughout the nations

"What if you had to tell someone the most important thing in the world, but you knew they'd never believe you?"


This is a line in a movie I just watched this morning called
Deja Vu. It's a great movie and if you get the chance, try to watch it. You pretty much have to pay attention to it the entire time in order to understand what it's about, but it's really good.
This line made me think though. What if you had to tell someone the most important thing in the world, but you knew they'd never believe you? Isn't that how Christians live out their lives? Or at least that's how we're supposed to live out our lives. We hold the most important, vital information in the entire world...That Jesus Christ is the savior of the world...and accepting and believing in Him will give eternal life.
Not everyone believes us. In fact...a lot of people do not believe in the Christian faith. Yet--we're supposed to share it anyway.

I don't know I just thought this was a cool quote that parallels with the Christian faith...Think about it.

National Student Conference 2008

I just returned from the National Student Conference in Evansville, Indiana. It was amazing. I went to several workshops that really made me think. The trip in itself was just long, and very exhausting both mentally and physically.
Friday we left Greenville at 8:00 a.m. and picked up the other three NC schools in Chapel Hill...we stopped basically every two hours which was absolutely ridiculous, but the fellowship on the way was good =). We stopped in Grayson, KY Friday evening and then got up early Saturday morning to drive the rest of the way to Indiana. Saturday evening Mark Nelson (standingonthedesk.blogspot.com) started the conference out with the thought of "shalom" meaning "peace"--it was really a great sermon speaking on having peace within our relationships. Our relationships with Christians and non-Christians. He also spoke on the verse that says "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me"--everyone seems to interpret that as a very harsh verse...meaning...we have to go to Christ. However the awesome thing is Christ comes to us and meets us where we are...shalom =).
Sunday started the workshops and I went to "Loving Outside the Box" which was really awesome. One of the things that really stuck out to me in this workshop was that America has some of the loneliest people. We are all so closed in, and we bottle stuff inside us...we won't talk about stuff. But we don't look for the lonely and the hurting...those are the poor people along with the homeless. It taught me to watch for the lonely...the hurting...the hungry...the homeless. It was absolutely awesome. People are hurting everywhere. Who am I to judge? I just need to love like Jesus. I also went to "God's Will..debunking the myths" which basically spoke on how our lives are not mapped out by blue prints. We can not say we know what we're doing in our lives...We have to stop looking at the big picture...and trying to figure out our futures...and start living day-by-day. When we look at the big picture we start to focus on ourselves, but when we focus on day-by-day we start focusing on God and his will starts to open up to us. I then went to a workshop called "What does God really think is important" and it basically talked about the emergent church. It was good but went way over my head.
Those were the main workshops I went to...I also went to one about accountability and learned a lot about how to be accountable to people and hold people accountable without making them feel bad, and without making them think it's a court session. Overall the things I learned were great and really made me think. I know God will use me, and already is. We left Wednesday morning, and then our group spent the night in WV. We left WV this morning and made the rest of the trip home this morning. Today I spent a lot of time in thought...chewing on what I learned this week...and kind of having a quiet conversation with God about how he'll use me this year. I had my ipod in, my praise and worship music on, and for the five hour trip home it was me and God. It was pretty awesome.
This was my week...it was awesome and I know those of us who went can teach others also.

While in Indiana I bought a book called "the shack". It is probably the most amazing book I've ever read. It's a Christian novel, but it takes away all the cliche ideas of a Christian novel. It talks about an intimate relationship with God and seeing God's three intity's...when I finish reading it I'll write a post about it and try not to give it away.

Expectationless Expectations

The past few months I've been learning from a great friend of mine how to have "expectationless expectations". Basically saying to go into everything realzing that...I may have expectations but not to get let down--then I won't get hurt. To just go into every situation with an open mind.
It's a harder concept than I thought it would be. I say that in the sense that...it's changed me a lot...by having expectationless expectations I'm able to live my life more and not focus on old friends...or old relationships. I'm able to love myself the way I'm supposed to love myself. The way God has called me to love myself. I can't exactly say it's always easy. Last night I really struggled with it. I'm realizing how hard it is for me to be around friends who I used to be better friends with. It's hard for me to be around friends who know a lot about me...and who Did a lot for me. However I also am learning that intentions behind actions aren't always what they seem.
I'm learning who I need to trust. Right now I have a couple of people who I really trust with my heart. Above all I trust my heart to God--He knows who I am...He knows everything about me, and yet he still rescues me and loves me despite any faults I might have. I'm learning that I can have friends who I can hang out with and enjoy my time with without them knowing everything about me...But I'm also learning how to surrender to myself in certain circumstances. I'm learning all of this through one of God's greatest servants, and one of my greatest friends. I'm excited to see how God's going to use me this coming school year...He's changing me each day--and I know He's going to rock my world in a big way. I'm grateful for the new relationships that have come out of old circumstances...and I'm blessed beyond belief.
Expectationless expectations...sometimes hard, but so far always worth it.

The prayer of a child

This Weekend through the beginning of this week I worked at Roanoke Christian Service Camp. For 46 hours I was with about 70 or more 6 and 7 year olds. It was amazing, but exhausting. My group was the purple dragons. The theme of our two days was "Kung Fu Christians" and each time we did an activity the kids earned a new "belt". It was really exciting for them to know they had earned something. Yesterday morning before they left they all earned their black belts. We had 10 groups, and each group had 8 kids.
They certainly tested my patience, but also helped me learn what I'm in for when I become a teacher. All the kids are so different. They all come from different back grounds (yes at this age they even have a background, and I learned that real fast). They are all at different maturity levels. They also all have this huge faith that is so unreal to me. They're so innocent...and to them it's easy to believe in this God who is taking care of them. I loved watching them as they listened intently to us when we taught our lessons. They all answered the questions and got so excited when they got the answers right.
I had one little girl in my group who tested my patience a whole lot. Whenever I would call my group together I would count them and I would always end up with 7. The 8th child would be this little girl who would either be with another group...or wondering off by herself...or just not listening. I really had a hard time being patient with her--and toward the end my patience had really worn thin....but I had to remember that she was 6. She was the youngest of all my kids in my group...and the most immature. But she had already told me her story, which broke my heart. She got on my nerves, but she had a huge heart. She loved to be around people...and loved for anyone to listen to her....that included God.
Each time our group got together we would pray at the end, and I would always ask my kids who wanted to pray and she was the first child to raise her hand. I loved to hear her pray. She was so thankful for being at camp...and always wanted to thank God that she was able to be at camp, and able to make friends. She had real love for God that I wish we could all have.
In just two days I learned a lot about the vulnerability of a child. I learned that they love to love and be loved. They love God. They love to talk to anyone who will listen. They're SO grateful for what they have (most of the time)...and their minds are being molded by how we help mold them. Children are precious.
In the bathroom they have scripture posted all over the place, and one of the verses that I kept seeing everytime I went in the bathroom was 1 Timoth 4:12. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."~I loved seeing that verse and realizing how true it was for our campers and for all of us. These kids set just as much of an example for me as I could for them...and it was absolutely awesome.
So as much as these kids exhausted me, and tested my patience--I was serving them...and learning from them. Loving the way God wanted me to love...

God is LOVE

So...over the past couple of years of college I've been learning a lot about how much God loves me. I've always found it hard to understand that this all powerful God of the universe could love someone like me. I've screwed up. I'm a dirty sinner. But over the past year I've really fallen in love with how much God DOES love me. I'm a princess. I'm a daughter of the greatest King of all time. Not only does He love me, but He IS love...and that is amazing to me. So this past November I started thinking about getting another tattoo--but I couldn't really figure out what I wanted. I knew I wanted it to be meaningful...and I knew I wanted it to be something to describe me. I am a huge fan of "To Write Love on Her Arms". It' s a Christian movement that was started when a few people decided to help a girl in need. It is basically a group who is called to suicidal/depressed people who need to understand the concept of love. To learn more about it you can go to www[dot]twloha[dot]com. So I finally decided I wanted to have a tattoo with the word "love" in it. It took a while until I finally came to the simple yet powerful statement in 1 John 4:8 which says "God is Love". 3 words that mean SO MUCH. I decided that was going to be my tattoo. God is Love. However I wanted it to be unique. It took a little while longer until I came across the Greek for it which is "Theos Ein Agape"--I thought that was cool but it took a little while longer still before I found the actual Greek writing. That's when I decided to get my tattoo on my foot, so in February I went and had it done. It has sparked a lot of questions, and that's my point. To have people ask what it means so I can open up a discussion. God is Love. God loves me, and He loves us all. It describes my relationship with the almighty creator, and it describes me in the sense that I'm passionate for the hurting and I want everyone to know what it's like to love and to be loved.


So the whole point of this post is to simply show the picture of my tattoo because I thought a friend of mine had seen it, however she had not, but I also wanted the meaning of it to be known.

Sometimes it's good to boost the esteem

So I was reading a friend of mine's blog and decided I'd do what she did. I like to compliment people all the time...however I never really think about myself and maybe things I MIGHT appreciate about myself. So here goes...5 things about myself

1. I have really pretty eyes. I've always been very self conscious about the way I look, however I have always thought that I have beautiful eyes--I started wearing eye-liner when I was in high school and got into musicals, and really LOVED the way my eyes stuck out with the eye-liner. They're hazel, but the green sticks out more than anything.
2. I'm very self-conscious about my teeth, but I love my smile. I feel like I have pretty lips that kind of compensate for my not so great teeth.
3. I don't honestly care what people think about my tattoo's and piercings. I love the fact that I can speak out through art on my own body--and I like that mine are hidden when I want them to be--yet speak out about my faith. I especially love my tattoo on my foot. It's in Greek and it says "Theos Ein Agape" which means "God is Love"--it's a great conversation starter.
4. I am very short, but I like being short. I used to hate it, but now I realize it makes me who I am.
5. I'm not overweight--I'm kind of average. I've grown content with how much I weigh and my body type because I know it's the way God made me. I don't eat a whole lot, and I'm not a fan of sweets so I know that I'm not "pudgy" because of what I eat--it's just the way God made me.

The end =)

Blessing "in disguise"

While in Arizona a couple of weeks ago the missionary there told us of one of the young Apache girls who graduated High School last year, and would soon be graduating from her Army training. She told us the training was in SC and that she would love it if some of us could go to her graduation because none of her family or friends could make it. We told her we would go if she would send us the information on the graduation.
We didn't know how soon the graduation was...
Wednesday my best friend received an email from the missionary at around 5:30 saying the graduation was Friday (the 28th) at 9:00 am. So in 5 hours we got a group of people together and we left at 3:30 yesterday morning to go to the graduation.
We had no idea what the girl looked like, only her name. She had no idea who we were and no idea that we were coming. After the graduation we went to find her, and we found her Colonel as well as some of the girls and guys in her infantry. We found her cell phone number, saw a picture of her so we could know who we were looking for, and we never found her. We did however, leave a card for her that we had made, and also left her messages on her cell phone. Last night she called one of our guys back and informed us that she heard us yell her name at the graduation, and that she got her card.
Some people would say we failed but I say we accomplished what we went for. No, we never met the girl in person, but she knew we went....she had people excited for her that we were there...and it was exciting. I feel blessed, and I know we accomplished a lot =)
To God be the glory!

I will lift my eyes...to the maker....

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever. [Psalm 121]

So I just got back late last night from Globe, Arizona. It was the most amazing week of my entire life. I went to Arizona last year for Spring Break...but this year I made more relationships...closer relationships....I became more attached. My heart was tugged more. Words can not even begin to describe the amazingness of our glorious God...The beauty of Arizona is unfathomable. It was absolutely amazing as I sat Sunday on the side of a mountain and saw the glory of our great God. It was fantastic as I played with Apache children on the Rez...and heard their stories...and spent time with them...and tried to shine out Christ's love to these kids. It was glorious as I sat through an Apache church service Tuesday evening and saw what true worship was...as I talked to the kids who's families weren't Christian...as I heard the testimonies of these teenagers who had been brought from rock bottom by our creator.
This week was AMAZING. God spoke to me. God touched my heart. God BROKE me. Friday afternoon we went on a prayer journey through the neighborhoods and all I could do was cry. My heart was broken for the people of the San Carlos Apache Nation. As I heard the stories of the 40 babies born addicted to meth...of the child whose Mom stabbed him to death on top of a mountain...of the families who are living in cars and under tarps...it BROKE my heart and it made me angry. It was eye opening. On the reservation were a few different schools and I felt God tugging at my heart saying "this is what you're here for"...saying "this is why you're majoring in what you're majoring in"--The images of these kids are in my head...the images of the rez are constantly there. My heart hurts...and my mind races at the idea that one day...God might have me there or somewhere similar. Pray for the people of the Apache nation. Pray for God to break the hearts of the people in AZ. Pray for the darkness to leave that nation because you can feel the darkness...it's so prevalent and terrifying.
How great and awesome is our God.

I'm pretty dang fast!

101 words

http://10-fast-fingers.com">Speed test

=)

Is God simply a convenience?

So the past few days I've done a lot of thinking. I was really having a hard time with some things...and just feeling like crap...feeling like sometimes people are only friends with me when it's convenient.

But this morning as I was doing my quiet time I was praying and I was writing in my journal...and I realized it had been over a week since I'd done my quiet time. And as I was apologizing to God for not spending time with Him, something popped into my head--I spend time with God when it's convenient for me.

It's like God is trying to teach me something....the way I feel sometimes about my friends....is the way He feels all the time with us. A lot of the time I do only make God a convenience. I pray when I have time. I read when it's good for me. And as much as I get my feelings hurt for feeling like a convenience....God is hurt by us also.

It's just cool sometimes how God can show us things when we're being so self-centered. I was being selfish and It was all about "me me me"--but God said "wait a minute....it's really about me! The CREATOR of YOU"

And to add on to all of this...today in my Beth Moore study it talked about God's timing being perfect....And indeed...God's timing IS perfect.

A childs love is unconditional....so it seems

I love my nephew. Honestly....I do. He is my buddy. I don't say that because I am related to him, or because I'm supposed to love him....I say it because he's 2 years old and yet he understands the concept of what love is. Kind of. I wish I could be there more often to play with him and spend time with him because I'm realizing how fast kids grow up. It seems like just yesterday my nephew was learning to crawl...now it's like everytime I come home he's added another word to the length of his sentences and his conversation. It amazes me how much he picks up and how SMART he is. His memory is exceptional. Then my two nieces are 6 and 7 months old which is INSANE. I mean....they were just new borns and now....they're sitting up and smiling and playing with toys and it is CRAZY to me. Being in college kind of sucks when it comes to moments where I can see my nieces and nephew grow up.

Today though....my nephew came over and he ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug I've ever had....then he saw that I was getting ready to go somewhere so he said "where ya goin britt?" and I told him Greenville and he said "I want to go to Greenville too"....and when I told him he couldn't this time he said, "but britt I want to go with you"....O my goodness how much that broke my heart. I would have brought him with me in a heartbeat if I didn't have to babysit other kids....He's almost 3 years old and I love him dearly. He's someone who I know loves me...because I am his aunt...but because he just loves me. He doesn't have to have a reason. I don't have to prove anything to him. He loves me because he just does.

I wish life really were that simple...and love really were that easy as we got older.

2 years...yet the memory still lingers

Two years ago today speed killed one of the sweetest, genuine guys at Nash Central High School. It's still hard to fathom. Still hard to grasp. Has it really been 2 years? My prayer today is that Sean's family has only grown stronger.....R.I.P Sean Daniel Frazier

To meditate...to learn....to serve

They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. [Psalm 145:5-7]

Right now I'm doing the Beth Moore 90 day study through the life of Christ. I absolutely love it. I'm learning about our amazing savior from the time of his conception....to the resurrection. I'm amazed by how much our God loves us, that He's willing to come to earth in human form in order for us to live. Why in the world would anyone do that? Only out of amazing love under grace =)

The end of today's study had Psalm 145:5-7 written as a prayer...that we learn what God has done for us and that we never fail to meditate on His word....This excites me. Last weekend CCF went on our winter retreat and we had an amazing speaker, Dave Embree, who spoke on being a servant. It's like God is constantly reminding me lately to be a servant. To work for Him. To love Him. To be who He has created me to be. But before I can ever be who God has created me to be....before I can serve with a whole heart completely surrendered to God...I have to really get in the word....and learn.

Our women's ministry assistant likes to refer to "spiritual anorexia" a lot. God refers to His word as our nourishment. As our food. In life, we must eat in order to be well nourished and in order to go on day to day. If not we become anorexic...and eventually we die. This is how our life with Christ is. We become Christians....but we can not grow unless we continuously spend time in the word. I long for the craving of God's word like a new born baby craves milk. I want to constantly long for God's word in my life. I never want to forget what God has done for me...Where He's brought me from....Why I am here.

So I'm grateful for God coming to earth in the form of Man. I'm so blessed, as we all are, that I am saved by grace. I'm SO EXCITED that I'm studying right now the life of Christ--so I can learn what my Heavenly Father REALLY did for me. I want to be so intimately close with God that when I miss one day with Him I hurt.

As I am preparing to go to Arizona...I really need to be spending time in the word. Sometimes, I turn my computer into my idol and I forget to read my Bible...or I push it off and I say I'll read later....and I continue to push off reading until I don't read at all that day. Oh my goodness how much that must hurt God. I know how much I'm hurt when I'm pushed to the side by a friend--but God....the God of the universe....GOD loves me enough to send His only son for me to live and I can't give Him the time of day sometimes. Wow. Yet He still forgives me and still loves me. Man I don't deserve that at all. So...I really yearn right now to grow spiritually so that I'm prepared to serve...in Arizona...in NC...in this World. I want to live my life out daily so that people can see Christ in me.

So I know this seems a lot like a rant or rambling...but it's an overflow of the heart that my God reigns...and loves me. May I never cease to meditate on His word.

"You have God in the measure you desire Him..."

New to the idea of "blogging" if you will...and I will

So I'm not a fan of "blogging"--I'm quite private. But I figured sometimes thoughts are meant to be known....in order to strike question, or conversation, or just so people might understand a person a little better. So here's to my first blog.

So within CCF we've just started a new thing called "2:42" groups. It's based on Acts 2:42--"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer"--We just started this week. There's several groups that meet throughout the week with about 7 or 8 people in each group. Our goal is to teach, fellowship, eat some ;), and to focus a lot on prayer. We want to keep each other accountable to the things God is doing in our lives...to build each other up in prayer and in fellowship....to enjoy each others company...and hopefully multiply beyond our groups into new groups. To bring people in....and serve the way God has called us to serve.

At first I was really apprehensive about the whole idea of the "2:42" groups--but after my first meeting tonight...I'm extremely excited. The group I'm in has a very diverse group of girls. Some are quiet, a few are shy, and a couple are really outgoing. Each of us has our own story--our own walk of life--and I'm excited to see how God is going to use each one of us to build each other up and further His kingdom.

I'm also excited to just see how God is working in my own life. God is completely moving. Part of CCF, including myself, is going to Globe, Arizona in two weeks to serve on the San Carlos Apache Reservation. We'll be working with Arizona Reservation Ministries and I'm so excited. This will be my second time going and God has certainly worked in my life enough to show me that I'm more ready this year than I was last year. Support has just flooded in for me to go...and my heart is drawn towards those kids on the reservation. I can't wait to see how God works through each of us--and in each child and their families--I can't wait to see how God changes the lives of the students in CCF--and breaks our hearts for the lost. Last night we had a group called "The Traveling Team" come and speak to us about missions and what it means to be a world Christian. They talked to us about being a missionary and going and doing what God has commanded us to do--I know that God has a great plan for all of us. I continue to wonder what I'm doing this summer....I feel like God has been tugging at my heart for the past year to really work for Him this summer and so my prayer is that something will come along that I can serve Him completely the way He has called. I have no idea what that entails--but whereever God calls...I will go

Okay so I didn't expect to write this much in one blog but when God moves, He moves ;)

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"~Matthew 28:19