I've found freedom

It's been a long summer. A summer full of ups and downs. A summer of revelations, of shed tears, of pain, of joy, of happiness, of sadness. It has been a whirlwind of a summer. Full of emotion. Every emotion possible. It's been a hard summer, but it's been a wonderful summer. It's been a FREEING summer. The summer's not quite over. There's still a few weeks left before I go back to school, and honestly I'm glad there's only a few weeks left before I go back to a schedule. I'm glad I can finally go back to some kind of "normal" so to speak. But actually, nothing in my life is going to be normal. Everything has changed because I have changed.
When I left for South Dakota 10 weeks ago I was a person bound by my sin. I was fighting hard against the devil. When I came home from South Dakota almost six weeks ago I was broken. Nothing in my life was right. My heart was mangled into so many pieces. I could no longer fight. And so the healing began. I can not say that six weeks later I am completely healed, but I can say that six weeks later my heart has been put back together. I can say that I can smile, and praise God for what He has brought me to and through this summer. Not only this summer, but this year. It's been an interesting year. But it's in the past and I'm starting over new. My heart has been deeply penetrated by the healing hand of God, where he has placed his tender hand over my heart and spoke freedom into my soul.
Where there was once anger, bitterness, and darkness there is now joy and light. Where there were once callouses there is now a bandage holding my heart together with God's healing salve. My life will never be the same after this summer. God has rescued me, smiled on me, spoke deep into my soul, and said "be still my child, I am here".
I had a dream the other night. As weird as it would seem to most people it seemed completely real to me. I had a dream that God reached down in the form of Christ and literally placed His hands on me and took away the scars and bondage. He freed me. I fully believe that God literally came down into my dreams to show me that I am free. I am FREE. Because the God of the Universe loves me.
This past weekend I had a get away with my beautiful mother. She and I have a struggle getting along with each other. We have struggled most of my life to get along. Mainly from the time I hit the "teen" mark through my adult life, we have struggled. My prayer for her this summer was that she would come to know the Lord and truly find joy in Him. She hasn't yet, but God's working.
At the beginning of the summer I found one of her high school friends on facebook. She was one of my Mom's closest friends. They graduated together, and they had not heard from each other since. 38 years later they were able to contact each other, and this past weekend we met her in Charleston. My Mom was so excited and so happy, and I saw something in her eyes that was  different. We left Friday morning and drove the four hours to Charleston. Not once did we argue.

Friday after we arrived in Charleston we made our way to Downtown Charleston where we took a horse-buggy tour. It was so much fun. We learned about the history of Charleston. Now that I'm old enough to appreciate the history of Charleston, I enjoyed it a lot more.

Lets just say Friday night Mom and I were exhausted. We were old ladies that went to sleep very early.

Saturday morning we woke up and ate breakfast, and talked for a little bit, and then we drove about 20 mins away to Summerville where my Mom's friend's daughter and her family lives. We met them there and my Mom and Bev enjoyed great conversation catching up while Bev's daughter and I chatted as well. We then journeyed out to the harbor in Charleston where we had lunch (with four kids ranging 8-2). It was so beautiful seeing my Mom and her great High School friend talk about their high school days. I know it was a blessing for both of them...and my prayer is they will continue to keep in touch. 

Mom and I went down town again after we had lunch. Sunday morning we got up and came back home. We had a BEAUTIFUL weekend, and Mom even told me she truly enjoyed her time with me. And I could honestly say I enjoyed my time with her as well.

God is bringing healing :) It's beautiful. 

Some of the reasons I smile =)

This post is just to point out two of the most beautiful joys in my life. I have the privilege the next two days of watching my niece and nephew. They are rotten, and they have smart mouths, but they are two of the biggest reasons I smile. They show love like no other human I know. Why? Because they have no reason not to love. They trust me with all they are because I am their aunt. Today I took them to the pool. We had some pouting and some whining, but we had a fun time and I enjoyed spending the day with them. Tomorrow it's just me and my niece, because my nephew has summer camp.

I am Broken before my LORD

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"And I know I'm WEAK I know I'm UNWORTHY to call upon your name. But because of GRACE, because of YOUR MERCY I stand here Unashamed...Here I am, at your feet, in my BROKENNESS COMPLETE"

Where to begin. God's teaching me a lot. He's teaching me of peace, and of surrender, and of what it means to be completely His. I won't go into detail from Beth Moore, but I will give a few of her quotes that have stuck out to me in the past week.

She spoke of Unbelief. Not necessarily NOT BELIEVING in God himself, but unbelief in His power and what He is capable of doing in HIS timing.
"When you cry out for help, let your collection of idols save you! The wind will carry all of them off, a mere breath will blow them away. But the man who makes me his refuge will inherit the land and possess this holy mountain. And it will be said: build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people!" Isaiah 57:13-14

One of the main things God desires for us is that there is no obstacle in our way of giving Him complete glory. In the times of kingship in the bible the rulers of the city would make their people make sure that the obstacles were removed from the paths of the Kings. If the kings passed by a city and they did not find it clean or approve, they would continue to pass over. The difference in this verse is that God is not commanding obstacles be removed for HIM he is commanding obstacles to be removed so that His people can come to Him. He wanted no obstructions hindering the journey of His people into His presence. He STILL wants NOTHING in our way!

I'm learning a lot from this. Truly God is teaching me what it means to make HIM my refuge and ONLY Him. I have continued over and over again to put my friends and people first before Him. I have continued to run to my friends. And He is slowly and painfully taking these things away from me. My friends are aware that I need to be growing in my walk with the LORD and are not responding to my cries for help. Not because they do not love me, but because they love me SO MUCH that they want me to desire ONLY the Lord. And I'm not going to lie, IT HURTS. But I HAVE to make God the ultimate refuge in my Life. I HAVE to absolutely run to Him in my times of need. And through prayer this will be what happens. Through discipline this will be what happens.

Everything is possible for him who believes. Beth Moore referred to Mark 9 where the father of the demon possessed boy cries out " HELP ME OVERCOME MY UNBELIEF"....He BELIEVED Jesus could heal his son and He recognized His own unbelief.

I am recognizing my unbelief in seeing that I don't trust God with everything. And he DESIRES EVERYTHING.

God is DESERVING of our trust in Him.

If we've discovered unfaithfulness in God we've either misinterpreted the promise, missed the answer, or gave up before God timed His response.

Christ is fully God. He can heal anyone or perform any wonder, whether the belief of the person is great or small. Christ asking us to believe in our ability to exercise unwavering faith. He is asking us to believe that He is able.

God always wills the spiritual captive to be free. God's will is for us to know Him and believe in Him, glorify Him be satisfied by Him, experience peace in Him, and enjoy Him. 


We tend to run to God for temporary relief. God is looking for people who will walk with him in steadfast belief.

We have to remove the obstacles in our life in order to glorify Him with our all. Pride is a huge boulder on the path to freedom. We have to humble ourselves.

I'm working on the humility. I have no idea what God has in store for me. I'm continuing in prayer in asking God to work in my life. And He is. I have shed many tears still. He truly is stripping me of everything so that HE CAN BE MY EVERYTHING.

He wants that from us all.

The Reign of Christ

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor". Isaiah 61:1


This is the scripture verse for yesterdays part of "Breaking Free". God is already speaking so much wisdom and peace into my life. He is allowing for thoughts to be processed, and for Himself to be revealed in my life in ways I haven't otherwise noted. The LORD has already taken care of some things in my life that were becoming a hindrance in my life. He knows what I need and He knows things that were holding me back from complete surrender.

Beth Moore opens "Breaking Free" by saying Christ calls us to a place of breaking free. He woos us to the place of absolute freedom-the only kind of freedom that is real.

The LORD WOOS us. How amazing is that? I think as a female I may take more likeness to this word because as women we desire to be "wooed" so to speak by our husbands, boyfriends, or future male figures in our life. We are the bride of Christ and He WOOS us!

She also comes to say God will sometimes allow things to go bad enough that we will be forced to look up. Victory always begins with a cry for help. When we come to the end of ourselves and cry out for help, amazing things happen.
The LORD is waiting for us to cry to Him. He is the ultimate healer. He is the ONLY one who can set us free from the sin in our lives. A lot of the times we wonder why in the world so many bad things happen. Two weeks ago I was wondering WHY in the world things were happening. Why I was coming home from South Dakota. Why a guy had to pull out in front of me and cause me to total  my Moms car. WHY and WHAT God was trying to teach me. Now as I sit here, after processing for a while, I realize He was calling me to fall on my face in complete surrender to Him and cry out to him. TO LET GO of my PRIDE. Which is exactly what Beth Moore talks about in the first chapter of "Breaking Free".

We have to let go of our Pride. God WILLINGLY tells His children why they are being oppressed if they are WILLING to listen. I had to wonder to myself if I have been truly asking the LORD to explain to me what's going on, or if I have been so stubborn that I ignore God and handle things on my own. He wants us to know what went wrong so the next time we're in the same situation, we'll make different choices.
WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE.
In the Bible we learn of the sacrifices that were made that God found as a sweet aroma. He WHOLLY CONSUMED those sacrifices. What is it in our lives that we can sacrifice that God will wholly consume? We tend to sacrifice things easily when it comes to ignoring God..but find it very difficult to sacrifice things FOR God.

"After Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall" 2 Chronicles 26:16

The Lord teaches the Kings in the old testament what it means to sacrifice. He teaches them that their pride will get in the way. Pride can lead to captivity (Jeremiah 13:15-17) which is the crippling effect it has on us as believers.

We may not like God's decisions in our life...but they all come from HIS love.

King Hezzekiah is an example of a King who was sold out of the LORD until the Lord rescued Him from circumstances. Hezzekiah was a great example of a great King who was not perfect. He forgot what God did for Him and lost humility because He believed He overcame because of what HE did. He had a legalistic attitude...which is another crippling problem in our lives. Another prideful issue.

Not even the best were perfect. Not even the most honorable were holy. Not even the most humble were immune to pride.

If my liberty in Christ is going to be a reality in life, I am going to have to learn to walk in the freedom of Christ, independent of everyone else I know.

I think I forget sometimes that I am an adult with my own opinion. I still seek advice of other people. It is wonderful to seek out brothers and sisters who will give Godly advice, but even then the ultimate one to seek is the LORD and what HE knows is best for our lives. We don't want God's advice though. We want to be prideful. It is then that God is faithful to chastise. How else would we learn from our rebellion? But He is also SO Compassionate in His comfort.

We want freedom so much but sometimes we don't want it enough. We don't want to give up the strongholds in our lives. God hears the cries of the oppressed. He cares more for our freedom than even WE DO. He initiated liberation.

God fulfills in Christ alone. Luke 4:14-21 quotes Isaiah 61.

2 Corinthians 3:17 --> Where the spirit of the LORD is there is freedom.



Christ's ministry is a ministry of the heart. Christ's first priority is setting captives free (2 Peter 3:9), but saved people can still be in bondage (Galations 5:1).

I think sometimes I want to be freed SO BADLY but I won't allow God to heal. I won't allow God to COMPLETELY take captive the things keeping me in bondage.

Here's the good news:
-Christ came to set the captive free-no matter what kind of yoke bonds them.
-He came to bind up the brokenhearted-no matter what broke the heart.
-He came to open the eyes of the blind-no matter what veiled their vision.

After this I had to ask myself what my yokes are in my life.

I'm not sure where this study will lead, what God will teach me, but I know He is healing and I know it has begun. Take time to realize all of this as well =).

Perfect strangers...and being set free

"You came only yesterday. And today shall I make you wander about with us, when I do not know where I am going? Go back, and take your countrymen. May kindness and faithfulness be with you." 2 Samuel 15:20


I have never seen such kindness from people who don't even know me until recently. Particularly last night. I was at Barnes and Noble looking at Beth Moore books and also talking to a close friend on the phone about things going on in my life...when I got off the phone this kind woman came up to me with a Beth Moore book and started pointing out other books that were great for my circumstances. She said she couldn't help but overhear some of my conversation. She introduced herself to me and gave me a huge hug. 
Normally eaves droppers annoy me. But this lady was a blessing. She wasn't being nosy, she was being concerned. She does not know me, but she knows I am a sister in Christ...and she chose to be kind to a fellow believer. This was encouraging and something I really needed. 


I bought "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. It has six parts to it which I will take the next six weeks to complete. I started today and I will go through each day chapter by chapter. It's already an encouragement to see how God will work. I am taken captive by my sin, but God is willing to set me free.