December 13, 2009
We matter more than we'll ever realize
Before going any further please watch the above video...it is enough to make you think two different things "Why do I matter to God"--which in the end is a ridiculous question because this video is inspiring enough to make us think "Man...I'm THAT small and God still watches me, still loves me, still CARES"...The God of the Universe Loves US!
We're going through the Crazy Love series in our Sunday School class at church. I read the book about 8 months ago and I love it. It's enough to make a person think about what their purpose is in this world. It is a challenge to those of us who say we Love God, yet do not act on it. We cover up our God with excuses...instead of loving people enough to tell them the truth.
I do not want to get to the end of my life having allowed my own convictions to die before I do.
This morning in church our sermon was on John 15:1-17
Dr. Darville spoke on the metaphor of verses 1-8 and Johns extension of that Metaphor in verses 9-17.
It is the final "I am" statement God makes.
Take a minute and remember that when God says "I am" it is not just a general statement...it is His name "YHWH"
I loved the sermon this morning because Dr. Darville showed us the difference between Israel and Jesus. The Vine is a symbol for Israel, which is replaced by Jesus because Israel produced fruitlessness while Jesus (the TRUE vine) produces GREAT fruit.
The awesome thing that I got from this sermon, talking about the Vine and the branches that I've heard hundreds of times...is that We are a part of this Vine. We are the branches. We are in the covenant with God and WE must bear fruit. We can not just be compliant and have mechanical change in our lives...we MUST listen to our hearts and have Organic change...REAL change...We can not just believe in this God (who created this enormous Universe and doesn't have to love us or watch us but chooses to)...but we must engage in His plan for our lives.
I learned a lot today. I want to be a part of this covenant with God. I want to share life with God like I share life with my friends. I want to know His thoughts and feelings...I want to hurt for what He hurts for and Love who He loves. I want to desire to fulfill His plan in my life, not knowing WHERE He will lead me.
This awe inspiring God does not need me, but He wants me. He wants all of us to share life with Him in a way we never have before.
The God of the universe LOVES us. He desires a relationship with us! He wants us to bear fruit for Him...
One of the things Dr. Darville said in His sermon today that really stuck...was when he was talking about pruning. In John 15 Jesus speaks of God having to prune so that more fruit can be beared...If you ever watch someone who knows what they are doing prune their fruit or plants...it doesn't look like it would feel too good.
Sometimes God prunes us and it hurts. He takes things from us that we might ask "why"...but it's His way of helping us bear more fruit for His kingdom and glory.
Man what an awesome God we serve!
December 01, 2009
Are you hearing?
"... listen to his voice, and hold fast to him..." Deuteronomy 30:20
So for the past year or so I have really been wondering where I will be after I finish at ECU. I have this yearning in my soul to serve in a way that God wants. I desire to really give back to God what He has given to me. Through my life I have had many people in my life who have helped me really hear God's voice...in the stillness He is there.
I have had my struggles, and I still struggle with a lot of things, but if it were not for God placing people in my life who have lead me back to Him I would not be where I am.
I love children. I love working with them, playing with them, helping them. I love the idea of being able to work with children who typically get pushed to the side.
When I first started college I wanted to teach High School English. I had a couple of really great teachers in High School who helped me stick to my desire to make it in life. I was not the easiest student to work with. I had a mouth, and I did not have Christ in my heart, and so through a lot of patience these teachers saw through my calloused exterior and really got through to me. I love writing and reading and I wanted to further my life using these things I love. Not only that, though, I wanted to be able to help students the way these teachers helped me. So High School English it was. That did not last long. Through a couple of English classes my first semester in college I realized that I did love English but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life. I did not want to spend so much time with the one thing I found stress relief in, that I no longer enjoyed it. So I chose to switch to Elementary Education.
Three years later I am not graduating. I still have another year to go. It has been a difficult road for me to see God's will in my being at ECU for another year, but I realize He has a purpose and a calling in my life that I do not see yet. But I have listened enough to know this is God's plan.
Next May I will graduate with an Elementary Education degree with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations and a certification in K-12 Reading. What will I do after that?
More school...
Elementary Education is great. Please do not get me wrong. We are in great need for teachers right now, but that just is not my calling. I am not a 1 on 25 type person. I am a one-on-one person. I do not feel I can fulfill my purpose with twenty five kids at a time. Where will I go? That is still up in the air right now.
I've wondered if maybe Seminary would be the right place for me. Do I want to spend another 2-4 years in a secular college gaining a liberal education about counseling? No.
I have received all the liberal education I think I need. I think God feels the same way.
So He is leading me elsewhere after I graduate from ECU. I have an idea of where I may be after graduation, staring in August of 2011...but I am not quite yet revealing where that might be. God's may or may not have this in store for me, and I want to make sure it's HIS voice I am hearing and not my own desires. Of course I know that God's calling will go along with my desires, but I want to make sure that where I am thinking is 100% where God wants me before I reveal where I may be going.
I am listening hard for God's voice in all of life's jumbled noises. Life is noisy. People do not really know how to sit still amongst the madness and really listen for God's voice.
I am one of those people. The idea of QUIET scares me a little. I always have my Ipod in my ears and my phone in my hand to drown out the rest of the noise around me. Either way sometimes even if the song playing through my headphones is a worship song, it can still be noise. Other times though, God reveals himself in a song I am listening to, and it's an amazing thing =).
So what am I hearing? Well prayerfully it is God's voice! He has a plan for me far greater than I can see right now. He has a plan for all of us. We just have to pray for it be revealed...and wait patiently for him to reveal what it is. I am learning to stop listening to the desires of my flesh. I am learning to let go. I am learning to let go of my compulsive desire to have a schedule and just let God do His job. Without a schedule I am sometimes very confused...but God's teaching me to let go of that worldly attribute.
I am learning to let go of my constant impulsiveness and to WAIT.
I am learning to let God have full control....even if I am antsy to do what I want.
HEARING God's voice is easy to say but sometimes very difficult to do.
Listen...
Go back to where God reveals himself in the still small voice.
Not in the wind or the rain or the fire or the earthquake or whatever is going on around us...wait...desire...pray and LISTEN. He's there waiting patiently for us to hear Him.
So for the past year or so I have really been wondering where I will be after I finish at ECU. I have this yearning in my soul to serve in a way that God wants. I desire to really give back to God what He has given to me. Through my life I have had many people in my life who have helped me really hear God's voice...in the stillness He is there.
I have had my struggles, and I still struggle with a lot of things, but if it were not for God placing people in my life who have lead me back to Him I would not be where I am.
I love children. I love working with them, playing with them, helping them. I love the idea of being able to work with children who typically get pushed to the side.
When I first started college I wanted to teach High School English. I had a couple of really great teachers in High School who helped me stick to my desire to make it in life. I was not the easiest student to work with. I had a mouth, and I did not have Christ in my heart, and so through a lot of patience these teachers saw through my calloused exterior and really got through to me. I love writing and reading and I wanted to further my life using these things I love. Not only that, though, I wanted to be able to help students the way these teachers helped me. So High School English it was. That did not last long. Through a couple of English classes my first semester in college I realized that I did love English but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life. I did not want to spend so much time with the one thing I found stress relief in, that I no longer enjoyed it. So I chose to switch to Elementary Education.
Three years later I am not graduating. I still have another year to go. It has been a difficult road for me to see God's will in my being at ECU for another year, but I realize He has a purpose and a calling in my life that I do not see yet. But I have listened enough to know this is God's plan.
Next May I will graduate with an Elementary Education degree with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations and a certification in K-12 Reading. What will I do after that?
More school...
Elementary Education is great. Please do not get me wrong. We are in great need for teachers right now, but that just is not my calling. I am not a 1 on 25 type person. I am a one-on-one person. I do not feel I can fulfill my purpose with twenty five kids at a time. Where will I go? That is still up in the air right now.
I've wondered if maybe Seminary would be the right place for me. Do I want to spend another 2-4 years in a secular college gaining a liberal education about counseling? No.
I have received all the liberal education I think I need. I think God feels the same way.
So He is leading me elsewhere after I graduate from ECU. I have an idea of where I may be after graduation, staring in August of 2011...but I am not quite yet revealing where that might be. God's may or may not have this in store for me, and I want to make sure it's HIS voice I am hearing and not my own desires. Of course I know that God's calling will go along with my desires, but I want to make sure that where I am thinking is 100% where God wants me before I reveal where I may be going.
I am listening hard for God's voice in all of life's jumbled noises. Life is noisy. People do not really know how to sit still amongst the madness and really listen for God's voice.
I am one of those people. The idea of QUIET scares me a little. I always have my Ipod in my ears and my phone in my hand to drown out the rest of the noise around me. Either way sometimes even if the song playing through my headphones is a worship song, it can still be noise. Other times though, God reveals himself in a song I am listening to, and it's an amazing thing =).
So what am I hearing? Well prayerfully it is God's voice! He has a plan for me far greater than I can see right now. He has a plan for all of us. We just have to pray for it be revealed...and wait patiently for him to reveal what it is. I am learning to stop listening to the desires of my flesh. I am learning to let go. I am learning to let go of my compulsive desire to have a schedule and just let God do His job. Without a schedule I am sometimes very confused...but God's teaching me to let go of that worldly attribute.
I am learning to let go of my constant impulsiveness and to WAIT.
I am learning to let God have full control....even if I am antsy to do what I want.
HEARING God's voice is easy to say but sometimes very difficult to do.
Listen...
Go back to where God reveals himself in the still small voice.
Not in the wind or the rain or the fire or the earthquake or whatever is going on around us...wait...desire...pray and LISTEN. He's there waiting patiently for us to hear Him.
November 24, 2009
Thankful for more than just the earthly things...
Matthew 26:27 "Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying,
"Drink from it, all of you."
Thanksgiving is two days away, and all month I have seen facebook posts of people saying what they are Thankful for. I have honestly only seen a few statuses saying they were Thankful for God and what He has given us.
The verse above is a reminder to me of what I'm constantly thankful for. The God of the universe sent His son to die. In this verse Christ is sitting around the table with his disciples, and He's giving Thanks for the cup, the cup that is showing symbolism for what He is about to do. He's giving thanks for his ability to give Himself as a sacrifice for the sins we commit each day. Willingly laying down His life for our sins, and being the sacrifice and grace we do not deserve.
So, besides being thankful for the earthly things, the number one I am thankful for is the Grace that has been given to me by my heavenly father.
What else to be thankful for?
My family...We do not get along a lot of the time, but I am blessed with a family. God gave me a mom and a dad, who even though they do not always get along, they are there for me and they love me and support me in all I do. They have always been willing to accept what I have wanted to do with my life, even if they do not always agree with it. There are things I have done in my life that my parents have allowed me to do that I am so thankful they allowed...because at 21 years old I have grown and learned so much than I believe some people will in their lifetime.
I have two of the greatest big brothers in the world. Even though we don't always get along either, I LOVE my big brothers. They have always been there for me. They have taken care of me, and even though I know my older brother could not stand having to be home with his little sister when he was a teenager, he did it anyway. We all three have a very special relationship that could never be recreated. I am thankful for their wives who are the sisters I never had...I am thankful for their children who mean the absolute world to me. I am thankful for my Grandparents who raised me to be who I am today, even if I did take a few detours along the way.
I am so thankful for those friends in my life who are more like my family. They aren't even friends I have grown up with, and they aren't friends who live right around the corner, or even in the same state, but they are friends who know more about me than anyone else. They understand my complexities, they see me for who I am, and they love me through it all. These are friends who I would do anything in the world for, and who I know will be friends for life. They are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I could never ask for better friends.
I tend to complain a lot...but in the midst of the complaining I do realize what I have in this life that I am so undeserving of. I am thankful of education and the fact that I was able to go to college, and even though there are days I HATE being in school, I am so thankful that I can be there and further my education.
I am thankful that I can freely serve and worship the God of the universe.
I am thankful that I realize I am not perfect, and that no one is. I am thankful for those imperfections, because with those it makes it even more of a reason to rely on God.
We are all undeserving of what we have...but we are given all of these things. Yes some things we earn, but it wouldn't be available to even earn if it weren't for the Grace God has given us.
Praise be to God that I can sit here right now on a computer and write this blog...
Praise be to God that I can go to a coffee shop, where the owners are Christian, and read for hours in order to relax.
Praise GOD for the little things in this life...the smiles we miss, the gusts of wind that are little reminders of life...the things that may get on our nerves now, but are blessings later.
Praise God for a new day to live =).
I am thankful for so much because I am given so so much from the God who reigns!
"Drink from it, all of you."
Thanksgiving is two days away, and all month I have seen facebook posts of people saying what they are Thankful for. I have honestly only seen a few statuses saying they were Thankful for God and what He has given us.
The verse above is a reminder to me of what I'm constantly thankful for. The God of the universe sent His son to die. In this verse Christ is sitting around the table with his disciples, and He's giving Thanks for the cup, the cup that is showing symbolism for what He is about to do. He's giving thanks for his ability to give Himself as a sacrifice for the sins we commit each day. Willingly laying down His life for our sins, and being the sacrifice and grace we do not deserve.
So, besides being thankful for the earthly things, the number one I am thankful for is the Grace that has been given to me by my heavenly father.
What else to be thankful for?
My family...We do not get along a lot of the time, but I am blessed with a family. God gave me a mom and a dad, who even though they do not always get along, they are there for me and they love me and support me in all I do. They have always been willing to accept what I have wanted to do with my life, even if they do not always agree with it. There are things I have done in my life that my parents have allowed me to do that I am so thankful they allowed...because at 21 years old I have grown and learned so much than I believe some people will in their lifetime.
I have two of the greatest big brothers in the world. Even though we don't always get along either, I LOVE my big brothers. They have always been there for me. They have taken care of me, and even though I know my older brother could not stand having to be home with his little sister when he was a teenager, he did it anyway. We all three have a very special relationship that could never be recreated. I am thankful for their wives who are the sisters I never had...I am thankful for their children who mean the absolute world to me. I am thankful for my Grandparents who raised me to be who I am today, even if I did take a few detours along the way.
I am so thankful for those friends in my life who are more like my family. They aren't even friends I have grown up with, and they aren't friends who live right around the corner, or even in the same state, but they are friends who know more about me than anyone else. They understand my complexities, they see me for who I am, and they love me through it all. These are friends who I would do anything in the world for, and who I know will be friends for life. They are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I could never ask for better friends.
I tend to complain a lot...but in the midst of the complaining I do realize what I have in this life that I am so undeserving of. I am thankful of education and the fact that I was able to go to college, and even though there are days I HATE being in school, I am so thankful that I can be there and further my education.
I am thankful that I can freely serve and worship the God of the universe.
I am thankful that I realize I am not perfect, and that no one is. I am thankful for those imperfections, because with those it makes it even more of a reason to rely on God.
We are all undeserving of what we have...but we are given all of these things. Yes some things we earn, but it wouldn't be available to even earn if it weren't for the Grace God has given us.
Praise be to God that I can sit here right now on a computer and write this blog...
Praise be to God that I can go to a coffee shop, where the owners are Christian, and read for hours in order to relax.
Praise GOD for the little things in this life...the smiles we miss, the gusts of wind that are little reminders of life...the things that may get on our nerves now, but are blessings later.
Praise God for a new day to live =).
I am thankful for so much because I am given so so much from the God who reigns!
November 06, 2009
Welcome To The Masquerade...
"I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed, I'm not to blame, I'm not okay, Welcome to the masquerade"~Thousand Foot Krutch
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
September 15, 2009
I've been back a month....
....and it hasn't exactly been easy. I've gone from being surrounded by eight people who were grounded in their faith, and in love with life...to the reality that not everyone loves the way Christ loves. Not everyone is as grounded in their faith as others. Not everyone forgives as they should. Not everyone believes. I expected it to be hard to come back to NC, to home, and to school, but I didn't expect to be as hard as it has been.
Through the difficult moments I have wondered why. I have wondered why I was around so many awesome people this summer, only to come back to what my life is really like. I have wondered why the accountability I had this summer had to be taken away when I got back to school.
Then I realized...I will never know all the answers. I realized my accountability wasn't taken away. Even though I am not with the people I was with this summer 24 hours a day 7 days a week, they are still my family. They still love me and care about me. I still love them and would do anything in the world for them.
I realized God has a purpose and a plan for me and he's simply been waiting for me to say "yes God I will do what you ask"...He's been waiting for me to realize that there is a call far greater in my life than simply being comfortable and content with my surroundings.
This summer wasn't easy all the time, but I was comfortable. I was content with the people I was living with.
I have to say God has really had to throw me on my tail since I've been home. He's had to show me that the fairy tale I had in my head doesn't exactly exist. He had to help me realize that there is indeed sin in this world and I have to fight against it daily. I have to live my life for Him, and glorify Him through everything I do...regardless of how hard it may seem at the time. It's called perseverance.
I have had to come to the realization that no one, and no thing is perfect. Things are going to be tough. People are going to talk about me behind my back, and not everyone is going to like me or love me. This perfect little world I was living in before wasn't real. It was what I wanted but it was far from reality. I miss summershine more than I ever thought I would. I miss the team we had. I miss the constant accountability. I miss knowing that I would go to bed each night with a cabin of girls laughing until we fell asleep.
I had people telling me this summer that my happiness was going to come to an end and that all good things will come to an end. That is a lie! I've felt like it within the past month, yes. I have felt defeated and exhausted, but...I was listening to those lies. I can still be happy because happiness is a choice. And that good thing I had this summer, it didn't come to an end. It may have changed but it's still going on...just in different locations....
God is great. Life isn't always easy but it's good =). There's a call on my heart that I have to listen to. I am in Greenville for a purpose. I am in CCF for a purpose. I am where I am for this moment to serve my Father in whatever way He calls me to do...and I'm done running away.
Through the difficult moments I have wondered why. I have wondered why I was around so many awesome people this summer, only to come back to what my life is really like. I have wondered why the accountability I had this summer had to be taken away when I got back to school.
Then I realized...I will never know all the answers. I realized my accountability wasn't taken away. Even though I am not with the people I was with this summer 24 hours a day 7 days a week, they are still my family. They still love me and care about me. I still love them and would do anything in the world for them.
I realized God has a purpose and a plan for me and he's simply been waiting for me to say "yes God I will do what you ask"...He's been waiting for me to realize that there is a call far greater in my life than simply being comfortable and content with my surroundings.
This summer wasn't easy all the time, but I was comfortable. I was content with the people I was living with.
I have to say God has really had to throw me on my tail since I've been home. He's had to show me that the fairy tale I had in my head doesn't exactly exist. He had to help me realize that there is indeed sin in this world and I have to fight against it daily. I have to live my life for Him, and glorify Him through everything I do...regardless of how hard it may seem at the time. It's called perseverance.
I have had to come to the realization that no one, and no thing is perfect. Things are going to be tough. People are going to talk about me behind my back, and not everyone is going to like me or love me. This perfect little world I was living in before wasn't real. It was what I wanted but it was far from reality. I miss summershine more than I ever thought I would. I miss the team we had. I miss the constant accountability. I miss knowing that I would go to bed each night with a cabin of girls laughing until we fell asleep.
I had people telling me this summer that my happiness was going to come to an end and that all good things will come to an end. That is a lie! I've felt like it within the past month, yes. I have felt defeated and exhausted, but...I was listening to those lies. I can still be happy because happiness is a choice. And that good thing I had this summer, it didn't come to an end. It may have changed but it's still going on...just in different locations....
God is great. Life isn't always easy but it's good =). There's a call on my heart that I have to listen to. I am in Greenville for a purpose. I am in CCF for a purpose. I am where I am for this moment to serve my Father in whatever way He calls me to do...and I'm done running away.
August 07, 2009
11 weeks down...1 week to go...
And it's a bitter sweet feeling. This summer has been absolutely amazing. I have learned so much about God, and grown so much in my faith and walk. I've been stretched many times to what may have seemed like the limit, but God continued to be there and help not just me, but everyone.
I can't begin to say how much of a blessing this summer has been. When I started this summer I never would have thought I would absolutely LOVE living with four other girls who I now call amazing friends and sisters. I never thought I could smile about cleaning, or working early and then late. I never thought I could do customer service! But then again, it's not me who has done these things...it is God! He deserves all glory, honor, and praise. This summer is a summer I will never forget.
I arrived May 22, and started working May 23. I injured myself the first day on the job, but survived =). I met amazing families who I will never forget. I received hugs and smiles from the coolest kids I have ever met, and from their Mom's as well.
I laughed about the silliest things...I talked about the most serious things....and I learned what it means to be vulnerable. I learned how to let God truly have control. This summer Mary (the assistant activities director) and myself prayed that God would soften my heart and teach me to really show myself through ways I haven't been able to do before. Since that prayer I have cried...a lot. I have opened myself up, given my testimony in front of complete strangers, and given God glory for it all. Nothing I have done this summer was about me...it was all about God. The summershiner's in Williamsburg could have never been the amazing team we were if it weren't for God.
From the first night we arrived we were already comfortable with each other. We knew and understood each other's personalities (for the most part) and we really united as a team serving God.
This campground wasn't always the easiest to work on. It wasn't always easy to take criticism or go 20 million different ways in one day...it wasn't always easy to take blame for things that weren't your fault...it wasn't always easy to get yelled at by irate campers...but it was easy to let God be the center...and it was easy to let Him shine through. Our prayer each day was simply to be the light God called us to be. "The sun never sets on a summershiner" has been our quote the entire summer...and in the middle of the summer we changed "sun" to "son"--because God's light will never set on us. We came to serve and our job is never complete.
This week Liz leaves on Tuesday and that leaves Mary and myself...I leave next Saturday (the 15th) to go back to NC, which is going to be the hardest thing I have had to do in a while...Mary will be by herself here for 15 days and then I will come back September 1st to help for Labor day.
God has blessed all of us this summer in ways we never expected. He built us into a family and our bond is so strong not even Satan can break it. We love each other and the relationships that God built here will only continue to grow because of the bond we have as brothers and sisters.
My prayer is that we will all continue to have our hearts and minds open to what God has to say to us. Wherever he leads we will follow. Whatever He asks of us we will do. We must remember that just because we leave the KOA and we aren't wearing yellow on our campuses or job sites, we are still shining the light of Christ to people all around us. The world is our camp ground!
Guys never close your hearts and ears to God...He has a lot to say...and you'd be surprised at how much you are willing to do!
I can't begin to say how much of a blessing this summer has been. When I started this summer I never would have thought I would absolutely LOVE living with four other girls who I now call amazing friends and sisters. I never thought I could smile about cleaning, or working early and then late. I never thought I could do customer service! But then again, it's not me who has done these things...it is God! He deserves all glory, honor, and praise. This summer is a summer I will never forget.
I arrived May 22, and started working May 23. I injured myself the first day on the job, but survived =). I met amazing families who I will never forget. I received hugs and smiles from the coolest kids I have ever met, and from their Mom's as well.
I laughed about the silliest things...I talked about the most serious things....and I learned what it means to be vulnerable. I learned how to let God truly have control. This summer Mary (the assistant activities director) and myself prayed that God would soften my heart and teach me to really show myself through ways I haven't been able to do before. Since that prayer I have cried...a lot. I have opened myself up, given my testimony in front of complete strangers, and given God glory for it all. Nothing I have done this summer was about me...it was all about God. The summershiner's in Williamsburg could have never been the amazing team we were if it weren't for God.
From the first night we arrived we were already comfortable with each other. We knew and understood each other's personalities (for the most part) and we really united as a team serving God.
This campground wasn't always the easiest to work on. It wasn't always easy to take criticism or go 20 million different ways in one day...it wasn't always easy to take blame for things that weren't your fault...it wasn't always easy to get yelled at by irate campers...but it was easy to let God be the center...and it was easy to let Him shine through. Our prayer each day was simply to be the light God called us to be. "The sun never sets on a summershiner" has been our quote the entire summer...and in the middle of the summer we changed "sun" to "son"--because God's light will never set on us. We came to serve and our job is never complete.
This week Liz leaves on Tuesday and that leaves Mary and myself...I leave next Saturday (the 15th) to go back to NC, which is going to be the hardest thing I have had to do in a while...Mary will be by herself here for 15 days and then I will come back September 1st to help for Labor day.
God has blessed all of us this summer in ways we never expected. He built us into a family and our bond is so strong not even Satan can break it. We love each other and the relationships that God built here will only continue to grow because of the bond we have as brothers and sisters.
My prayer is that we will all continue to have our hearts and minds open to what God has to say to us. Wherever he leads we will follow. Whatever He asks of us we will do. We must remember that just because we leave the KOA and we aren't wearing yellow on our campuses or job sites, we are still shining the light of Christ to people all around us. The world is our camp ground!
Guys never close your hearts and ears to God...He has a lot to say...and you'd be surprised at how much you are willing to do!
June 19, 2009
A Summershine Birthday and more
I have to say that in the past four weeks I have built relationships that I know are going to last the rest of my life...and NOT just with the Summershiner's. The camper's these past few weeks have been absolutely amazing. We had a couple of families last week who were the sweetest people we have ever met. This week we have Cody and Dawson who are some pretty cool kids, and I think Cody may just do summershine next summer. Honestly, I can't imagine God placing me anywhere other than here this summer. I am learning so much. I am growing in my walk with God and learning to be reliant ultimately on Him. I am learning how to really be a sister in Christ to my other brother's and sister's in Christ. I've been here four weeks and I have already decided to extend my contract to the middle of August. I have never been happier, or felt more of a sense of family than I do right now with these people. My birthday was this past Tuesday and the Summershiner's made me feel like a million bucks. At midnight Monday evening they sang happy birthday to me and Jeb and Liz gave me a birthday gift, then Tuesday evening when I got off work we celebrated with Sparkling white grape juice and my favorite cake, Strawberry with cream cheese icing. Yes, I celebrated turning 21 sober and it was the best birthday I have ever had.
I'm learning to be vulnerable....I'm learning to give up myself in order to Make God bigger. This place is amazing and I can not begin to describe the things that God is teaching me =)
I'm learning to be vulnerable....I'm learning to give up myself in order to Make God bigger. This place is amazing and I can not begin to describe the things that God is teaching me =)
June 05, 2009
Why--Oh WHY?
So into my second week of working with the KOA I am finally given permission by our Assistant A.D to get on the jumping pillow, as long as I'm careful. I was indeed very careful. Whenever Mary and all the other staffers were jumping, I sat down, and when they sat down I jumped. No problem there, right? Well I thought so too. I was fine all Tuesday night when we were done jumping....Wednesday morning I wake up to my knee being SO SORE! I wasn't understanding....and I'm used to it being sore so I went to work Wednesday....but most of the day I had to sit down. Wednesday night we're all laying in bed and all of a sudden we here (and I feel) "POP!!"---My knee. I thought it was out of place again...but I didn't get to work yesterday because it hurt so bad...and at around 1:00 yesterday afternoon Mary and Kristin took me to Urgent Care. O how much fun it is to go to an Urgent Care two weeks into living in a new state. Still thinking my knee's popped out of place....we go back and Mary holds my hand the whole time....he plays with my knee (which by the way hurt terribly and I squeezed Mary's hand as hard as I possibly could)--and then said that my knee was in place.
All of a sudden he starts naming off LCL, MCL, and I'm thinking "O NO PLEASE DON'T SAY ACL!"--He doesn't....PHEW! I basically have a sprained LCL and MCL....which isnt that bad even though it FEELS 10 times worse. I thought I could go to work this morning. I got ready and Mary drove me to the office, but our Boss said no : (--so I'm once again off work today which really stinks and is really frustrating considering I've become the clutz of the summershine family. By the way...being the clutz isn't always funny..... : (
So from all of this frustration has been setting in. I'm here to work and to bring God glory, but instead I'm stuck inside with my knee propped up. I thought I was over the knee problems in high school! Apparently not. So last night our staff had a prayer time just to prayer for our staff as well as for all the other summershine staffs....because we really haven't done that. We read scripture that God's been showing us, we prayed over it and asked God to really be in us while we're here, and that we would bring Him glory--not ourselves. This morning when Gary told me I couldn't work today I really wanted to cry. I was extremely frustrated....but about five minutes after being frustrated it's kind of like God put a sense of "it's okay" around me...and basically told me that I had my five minutes of pity, now I have to get over it...and remember that I will be able to work Sunday.
What's the point of this whole blog? Well one it's a prayer request....seriously. One for my knee to heal and for me to LET it heal....and Two for all of us to remember why we're here...to bring God glory. His glory is our reward.
Also though it's to simply say--when people pray together for a purpose, that purpose comes alive. God reveals why we're here...and allows us to vent...but then says "okay it's time to move on"--I'm in love with our Heavenly Father. I'm in LOVE with my job! Most of all....I'm glad I have God by my side.
Go out and bring Him the glory today! =)
All of a sudden he starts naming off LCL, MCL, and I'm thinking "O NO PLEASE DON'T SAY ACL!"--He doesn't....PHEW! I basically have a sprained LCL and MCL....which isnt that bad even though it FEELS 10 times worse. I thought I could go to work this morning. I got ready and Mary drove me to the office, but our Boss said no : (--so I'm once again off work today which really stinks and is really frustrating considering I've become the clutz of the summershine family. By the way...being the clutz isn't always funny..... : (
So from all of this frustration has been setting in. I'm here to work and to bring God glory, but instead I'm stuck inside with my knee propped up. I thought I was over the knee problems in high school! Apparently not. So last night our staff had a prayer time just to prayer for our staff as well as for all the other summershine staffs....because we really haven't done that. We read scripture that God's been showing us, we prayed over it and asked God to really be in us while we're here, and that we would bring Him glory--not ourselves. This morning when Gary told me I couldn't work today I really wanted to cry. I was extremely frustrated....but about five minutes after being frustrated it's kind of like God put a sense of "it's okay" around me...and basically told me that I had my five minutes of pity, now I have to get over it...and remember that I will be able to work Sunday.
What's the point of this whole blog? Well one it's a prayer request....seriously. One for my knee to heal and for me to LET it heal....and Two for all of us to remember why we're here...to bring God glory. His glory is our reward.
Also though it's to simply say--when people pray together for a purpose, that purpose comes alive. God reveals why we're here...and allows us to vent...but then says "okay it's time to move on"--I'm in love with our Heavenly Father. I'm in LOVE with my job! Most of all....I'm glad I have God by my side.
Go out and bring Him the glory today! =)
May 27, 2009
Wait...What's my name again?
So I have been here in Williamsburg for a little less than a week and I am absolutely in LOVE with my job! I love being with these girls and getting to know them. I love running into families and talking to them, and then later on they come up and want to talk with us about things. I LOVE seeing fourteen year old boys with manners who say "yes ma'am" even though I'm only a few years older than they are. This job is amazing. It's exhausting, yes, but it's well worth it.
God is definitely working in our staff. We are all so close already. We love each other and we're breaking down walls already in order to be there for one another. We already have inside jokes (hints the "what's my name again")--and we have a lot of fun joking around and hanging out when we can.
Yesterday was my day off and I spent a lot of my day reading. I was able to take a nap and then I spent a lot of time in 1 Corinthians. It was really great to be able to spend time with God, and not have to worry about going in to work. I work today 1-9 and then I'm off again tomorrow and I am pretty sure tomorrow I'm going to spend time off the camp site reading and spending time away. I can not begin to explain how much this job is already changing me. Please continue to pray for us. God is definitely our energy here when things start to get tough--but overall, we have an amazing job doing what we love...bringing God's people closer to Him. =)
God is definitely working in our staff. We are all so close already. We love each other and we're breaking down walls already in order to be there for one another. We already have inside jokes (hints the "what's my name again")--and we have a lot of fun joking around and hanging out when we can.
Yesterday was my day off and I spent a lot of my day reading. I was able to take a nap and then I spent a lot of time in 1 Corinthians. It was really great to be able to spend time with God, and not have to worry about going in to work. I work today 1-9 and then I'm off again tomorrow and I am pretty sure tomorrow I'm going to spend time off the camp site reading and spending time away. I can not begin to explain how much this job is already changing me. Please continue to pray for us. God is definitely our energy here when things start to get tough--but overall, we have an amazing job doing what we love...bringing God's people closer to Him. =)
May 24, 2009
1 day down...and already injured!
Heyo! I arrived in Williamsburg Friday evening and I must say I fell in love as soon as I got here. I love this camp ground. I love my co workers. I love love love how God is already working! Friday night we had a flashlight peanut hunt for the kids on the camp ground. It was SO MUCH FUN to see these kids joyfilled expressions as they hunted for PEANUTS. Haha. It's like "O Okay Peanuts" but no...these kids are like "MOM! LOOK! PEANUTS!"--it's awesome.
Saturday morning we awoke and did an activity again. We helped the kids make beaded neclaces and braceletts. We had such an amazing turn out and I realize how open I was already being with the parents and the kids about talking about God with them. It was so awesome. I worked yesterday 1:00-basically 11:00. I was supposed to get off at 9:00 but then Rudy and Myself helped Matt with bathrooms. There's nothing like cleaning up bath houses on a camp ground and everything's going smoothly, then all of a sudden a toilet decides to overflow and there's urine filled water all over the floor. YUM! Haha. Rudy and I had to clean up the snack shop by the pool yesterday which took quite a few hours because the shop hadn't been opened in a year. There was DUST everywhere!
Now...how did Brittany manage to get injured? I'm a clutz. That's how. Haha. I'm hoping yesterday is not a sign of what's to come for me. I left from eating dinner in our office and I apparently missed the bottom step leaving
the office and tripped. Let's just say I bled for about a mile as I went back to the pool to find the first aid kid. Of course I WOULD be the one to get hurt the first day on the job. It's okay though, I am def surviving and filled with the Joy God has given me. Today I work again at 1:00 at the snack shoppe and there will be activities going on around again. An Ice cream social at 1:00....games at 4:30...a movie at 8:30....all of which I will miss for work but I am here to shine the light of Christ and THAT is what counts. I can't express how, as tired as I already am, I am ENERGIZED by my heavenly father. Here's to the next two months!
Saturday morning we awoke and did an activity again. We helped the kids make beaded neclaces and braceletts. We had such an amazing turn out and I realize how open I was already being with the parents and the kids about talking about God with them. It was so awesome. I worked yesterday 1:00-basically 11:00. I was supposed to get off at 9:00 but then Rudy and Myself helped Matt with bathrooms. There's nothing like cleaning up bath houses on a camp ground and everything's going smoothly, then all of a sudden a toilet decides to overflow and there's urine filled water all over the floor. YUM! Haha. Rudy and I had to clean up the snack shop by the pool yesterday which took quite a few hours because the shop hadn't been opened in a year. There was DUST everywhere!
Now...how did Brittany manage to get injured? I'm a clutz. That's how. Haha. I'm hoping yesterday is not a sign of what's to come for me. I left from eating dinner in our office and I apparently missed the bottom step leaving
the office and tripped. Let's just say I bled for about a mile as I went back to the pool to find the first aid kid. Of course I WOULD be the one to get hurt the first day on the job. It's okay though, I am def surviving and filled with the Joy God has given me. Today I work again at 1:00 at the snack shoppe and there will be activities going on around again. An Ice cream social at 1:00....games at 4:30...a movie at 8:30....all of which I will miss for work but I am here to shine the light of Christ and THAT is what counts. I can't express how, as tired as I already am, I am ENERGIZED by my heavenly father. Here's to the next two months!
May 14, 2009
Oh Love me!-and right now-HOLD ME TIGHT!
So I realize I haven't actually "blogged" in a while. I've been busy...and I've lost interest in writing. The past few weeks have been really hectic. They have been very busy with finishing school and just trying to keep my sanity. I can't begin to explain everything that has been going on in my life, but I can only say God is faithful and He loves me despite my down falls. I've struggled with all my might and tried as hard as I could to ignore God, and yet He's stayed right by my side...and gently whispered in my ear until I finally heard Him.
Next Friday I am leaving for Williamsburg, VA and I will be there until July 31st working with an organization known as "Summershine". It was started in 1979 by Pastor Chris Thore and it has blossomed in the past 30 years. I will be employed by the Kamp Ground of America (KOA) and will be working as a "summershiner" in order to Shine Christ's love throughout the camp site. I will be working along side 8 other people in order to make Jesus known to the people who are staying on the campsite. I am so excited to see how God is going to use each of us. We have a great team of people who have somewhat already grown close in the past few weeks. We had orientation in April and I have talked to a lot of the other staffers in the past few weeks. The assistant Activities Director and myself have already grown extremely close...I know that God is going to use us all in magnificent ways this summer. My patience will most certainly be tested but with God by my side I will most certainly perservere.
Tonight the assistant Activities Director told me to read Psalm 119:83-104. I won't post all of it but I will say that the jest of it is talking about God's great love for us. Through trials and tribulations God's word stands firm. Through everything going on in our lives...God is always there. When we feel like we've been knocked down and we can not make it anymore, God gives us that extra boost of energy to keep going. When we are being tested...God loves us enough to help us pass. O what a MIGHTY God we serve!
Next Friday I am leaving for Williamsburg, VA and I will be there until July 31st working with an organization known as "Summershine". It was started in 1979 by Pastor Chris Thore and it has blossomed in the past 30 years. I will be employed by the Kamp Ground of America (KOA) and will be working as a "summershiner" in order to Shine Christ's love throughout the camp site. I will be working along side 8 other people in order to make Jesus known to the people who are staying on the campsite. I am so excited to see how God is going to use each of us. We have a great team of people who have somewhat already grown close in the past few weeks. We had orientation in April and I have talked to a lot of the other staffers in the past few weeks. The assistant Activities Director and myself have already grown extremely close...I know that God is going to use us all in magnificent ways this summer. My patience will most certainly be tested but with God by my side I will most certainly perservere.
Tonight the assistant Activities Director told me to read Psalm 119:83-104. I won't post all of it but I will say that the jest of it is talking about God's great love for us. Through trials and tribulations God's word stands firm. Through everything going on in our lives...God is always there. When we feel like we've been knocked down and we can not make it anymore, God gives us that extra boost of energy to keep going. When we are being tested...God loves us enough to help us pass. O what a MIGHTY God we serve!
April 01, 2009
Arizona in a nutshell
So I know this is a little late, but I finally have time to sit down and post about how amazing Arizona was.
For the third year in a row I was blessed by people who love God enough to help me in a journey to go to San Carlos, Arizona.
Every year I go to Arizona God teaches me something new. He knows where I am in life at the point in which I go, and He shows me what I need to see.
Before I even begin to talk about Arizona 2009, I want to post the chorus to "Satisfied" by Meredith Andrews, because it is absolutely how I felt when I was in Arizona.
Complete in your presence
Secure in your love
You made me who I am
Because of who you are
Wanting for nothing
Lost in your eyes
Contented just to be by your side
I’m satisfied, mesmerized
That’s how it is when I’m with you
Okay so a lot of you are probably asking, "how does that relate to your trip to Arizona?"
Well...because the entire time I was in Arizona God's presence was completely prevalent. Even though I knew we were in a place where the Devil is extremely prevalent and darkness is felt, I was secure in knowing my Father loves me, and I was mesmerized by God's complete beauty.
If you have never been to Arizona, you should make it a goal to go at least once. The land in Arizona is nothing like it is anywhere else, so it seems. The vast beauty of God's creation runs for miles and miles. As you drive down the road and along the sides of the mountains, all you can see is more mountain. More beauty! It's a comforting feeling, to stand on the edge of a mountain in Arizona and be so aware of the fact that God carved each and every canal, and every mountain with HIS hands!!
So what exactly did we do this time around? What did God teach me on this trip? Well...We arrived in Arizona Saturday, March 7th. Sunday we had service with Central Christian Church and then Diana (one of the staff of Arizona Reservation Ministries) took us on a prayer journey around the reservation. Last year she did this for us at the end of the week, and it tore me up. I wasn't able to stop crying last year because it made me so angry to see how the Apache nation is apart of the United States, yet it seems so hopeless. America isn't doing much for them, and that breaks my heart. I was really glad that Diana took us on the Journey before our work week actually began, because there were three people on the trip this time that had never been, and I think this prayer journey was something that could really help them get focused on what they were there for.
From the prayer Journey I still learned new things. One of the things that really touched my heart is that God is surely working on the reservation. Gangs are diminishing because people are actually starting to see hope. Even though the bloods and crips are still prevalent on the rez, there aren't as many of them as there was last year. Slowly but surely people on the rez are seeing the hope God has given them, and they want things to change.
Monday we went out and started our project. We started building a house for a family of 12. We didn't get to meet the family, but it was a blessing to start on a house for them. Monday we finished the entire foundation of the house, basically. The floor was finished, when we started from nothing. That afternoon we went on the bus and worked with the kids and played with them. That is always one of my favorite parts. I love kids and I love seeing them smile and feel loved. Later on Monday evening I was writing in my journal and I started to think about what we did that day. We started a house, and got the foundation set. God started to show me that that is how our lives are. If we had of gotten anything out of place on the floor that day, the foundation wouldn't have been standing as firmly as it was, but we would have been able to fix it. It's the same with our walk with God. We are to build our lives on the foundation of Christ. We are not perfect though, and sometimes things in our lives get out of place. We mess up. We walk about from God, and the foundation of our lives isn't God anymore and we start to crumble. That happens to me a lot, actually, where I think I have my life on the foundation of Christ, but I am far from it and I crumble. But then, we have the grace of God. So when our lives start to crumble all around us, God is there to help us pick up the pieces and put them back on His foundation. That's awesome, right?
Tuesday was our free day. We were able to go to the Salt River Canyon. I absolutely LOVE the salt river canyon. It's so beautiful. The river runs through the mountains and I am just reminded of how huge God is. The salt river canyon doesn't even come CLOSE to how huge God is. It doesn't come CLOSE to God's love for us! I love standing at the bottom of the canyon, and looking up, and realizing that I am standing in the middle of something God created. No man could make something that beautiful. I feel so small, yet so loved. It's like that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you realize someone loves you enough to do something awesome for you.
After we left the canyon we went back to the dorm, and a few of us walked down town Globe. That was a really awesome time. We then got some walls for the house, and then went on the bus to play with the kids again. It's fun to see kids that you recognize, as well as see new kids who are learning about God. It's fun to see how some of them are learning about God's love, and helping the others grow to grasp that concept.
Wednesday-Friday we finished a lot of the house. We got up the walls, and the siding, and the trusts for the roof. It was so awesome to see something go up before our eyes, and see the work we had accomplished. It was exciting to see that God was using us!
This doesn't come close to everything we felt and saw. There's so much more. God is an amazing God who is working on the San Carlos Apache Reservation. He's shining his light and penetrating the darkness that Satan is fighting to keep there. It was hard to leave. For the first time I cried when it was time to leave. The people who work with ARM are such sweet people. Their hearts are so pure and their love for God is so evident. They are our family. We have built relationships with them, and to see them only once a year is really hard sometimes...but we get updates from them throughout the year, and we continue to pray for them because they are fighting a battle every day. When they wake up each morning they have no idea what's going to happen that day...but they trust God.
Please pray for ARM. Pray for Dale and Diana (the head of ARM) to continue to fight against Satan's battle. Pray for their health as they battle with so many different issues. Pray for their family, Justin, Jenna, Jonathan, and Jackie, as well as their grand children.
Pray for Zane and Danielle Martens as they are serving God with the Bus ministry and construction, as they have decided to follow God and leave their home in Indiana to be a part of the ministry in Arizona.
Pray for Bill and Jean as they can no longer help with the ministry because of their health failing, but they are always a part of the ministry.
Pray for Charlie and Debby as God moves them from one part of Arizona to another to help with ARM and sign on full time with ARM. Please pray for Debby especially as God shows her the right time to quit her job and become a part of ARM...and for her and Charlie as they are apart from each other during the week while Charlie is in Globe cooking for work groups.
This is a ministry that is very close to my heart, and I am constantly thinking of them =)
For the third year in a row I was blessed by people who love God enough to help me in a journey to go to San Carlos, Arizona.
Every year I go to Arizona God teaches me something new. He knows where I am in life at the point in which I go, and He shows me what I need to see.
Before I even begin to talk about Arizona 2009, I want to post the chorus to "Satisfied" by Meredith Andrews, because it is absolutely how I felt when I was in Arizona.
Complete in your presence
Secure in your love
You made me who I am
Because of who you are
Wanting for nothing
Lost in your eyes
Contented just to be by your side
I’m satisfied, mesmerized
That’s how it is when I’m with you
Okay so a lot of you are probably asking, "how does that relate to your trip to Arizona?"
Well...because the entire time I was in Arizona God's presence was completely prevalent. Even though I knew we were in a place where the Devil is extremely prevalent and darkness is felt, I was secure in knowing my Father loves me, and I was mesmerized by God's complete beauty.
If you have never been to Arizona, you should make it a goal to go at least once. The land in Arizona is nothing like it is anywhere else, so it seems. The vast beauty of God's creation runs for miles and miles. As you drive down the road and along the sides of the mountains, all you can see is more mountain. More beauty! It's a comforting feeling, to stand on the edge of a mountain in Arizona and be so aware of the fact that God carved each and every canal, and every mountain with HIS hands!!
So what exactly did we do this time around? What did God teach me on this trip? Well...We arrived in Arizona Saturday, March 7th. Sunday we had service with Central Christian Church and then Diana (one of the staff of Arizona Reservation Ministries) took us on a prayer journey around the reservation. Last year she did this for us at the end of the week, and it tore me up. I wasn't able to stop crying last year because it made me so angry to see how the Apache nation is apart of the United States, yet it seems so hopeless. America isn't doing much for them, and that breaks my heart. I was really glad that Diana took us on the Journey before our work week actually began, because there were three people on the trip this time that had never been, and I think this prayer journey was something that could really help them get focused on what they were there for.
From the prayer Journey I still learned new things. One of the things that really touched my heart is that God is surely working on the reservation. Gangs are diminishing because people are actually starting to see hope. Even though the bloods and crips are still prevalent on the rez, there aren't as many of them as there was last year. Slowly but surely people on the rez are seeing the hope God has given them, and they want things to change.
Monday we went out and started our project. We started building a house for a family of 12. We didn't get to meet the family, but it was a blessing to start on a house for them. Monday we finished the entire foundation of the house, basically. The floor was finished, when we started from nothing. That afternoon we went on the bus and worked with the kids and played with them. That is always one of my favorite parts. I love kids and I love seeing them smile and feel loved. Later on Monday evening I was writing in my journal and I started to think about what we did that day. We started a house, and got the foundation set. God started to show me that that is how our lives are. If we had of gotten anything out of place on the floor that day, the foundation wouldn't have been standing as firmly as it was, but we would have been able to fix it. It's the same with our walk with God. We are to build our lives on the foundation of Christ. We are not perfect though, and sometimes things in our lives get out of place. We mess up. We walk about from God, and the foundation of our lives isn't God anymore and we start to crumble. That happens to me a lot, actually, where I think I have my life on the foundation of Christ, but I am far from it and I crumble. But then, we have the grace of God. So when our lives start to crumble all around us, God is there to help us pick up the pieces and put them back on His foundation. That's awesome, right?
Tuesday was our free day. We were able to go to the Salt River Canyon. I absolutely LOVE the salt river canyon. It's so beautiful. The river runs through the mountains and I am just reminded of how huge God is. The salt river canyon doesn't even come CLOSE to how huge God is. It doesn't come CLOSE to God's love for us! I love standing at the bottom of the canyon, and looking up, and realizing that I am standing in the middle of something God created. No man could make something that beautiful. I feel so small, yet so loved. It's like that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you realize someone loves you enough to do something awesome for you.
After we left the canyon we went back to the dorm, and a few of us walked down town Globe. That was a really awesome time. We then got some walls for the house, and then went on the bus to play with the kids again. It's fun to see kids that you recognize, as well as see new kids who are learning about God. It's fun to see how some of them are learning about God's love, and helping the others grow to grasp that concept.
Wednesday-Friday we finished a lot of the house. We got up the walls, and the siding, and the trusts for the roof. It was so awesome to see something go up before our eyes, and see the work we had accomplished. It was exciting to see that God was using us!
This doesn't come close to everything we felt and saw. There's so much more. God is an amazing God who is working on the San Carlos Apache Reservation. He's shining his light and penetrating the darkness that Satan is fighting to keep there. It was hard to leave. For the first time I cried when it was time to leave. The people who work with ARM are such sweet people. Their hearts are so pure and their love for God is so evident. They are our family. We have built relationships with them, and to see them only once a year is really hard sometimes...but we get updates from them throughout the year, and we continue to pray for them because they are fighting a battle every day. When they wake up each morning they have no idea what's going to happen that day...but they trust God.
Please pray for ARM. Pray for Dale and Diana (the head of ARM) to continue to fight against Satan's battle. Pray for their health as they battle with so many different issues. Pray for their family, Justin, Jenna, Jonathan, and Jackie, as well as their grand children.
Pray for Zane and Danielle Martens as they are serving God with the Bus ministry and construction, as they have decided to follow God and leave their home in Indiana to be a part of the ministry in Arizona.
Pray for Bill and Jean as they can no longer help with the ministry because of their health failing, but they are always a part of the ministry.
Pray for Charlie and Debby as God moves them from one part of Arizona to another to help with ARM and sign on full time with ARM. Please pray for Debby especially as God shows her the right time to quit her job and become a part of ARM...and for her and Charlie as they are apart from each other during the week while Charlie is in Globe cooking for work groups.
This is a ministry that is very close to my heart, and I am constantly thinking of them =)
February 16, 2009
Maybe this is Cliche'
This morning I was listening to my iPod while I waited for the bus, and this superchick song played. It's called "We Live" and it talks about how we never know when our life is coming to an end. The main theme of it is, what should we do if we never know when our time is up? Basically....Live, Love, Forgive, and never let anything get in the way. Living life to the fullest.
How many times I forget this. I forget that my life could be over in a heartbeat. I forget that I need to live my life like I do not have another day. If I aspire to leave this huge legacy for people, why am I not living my life in love? Lately I have had a hard time with this. I haven't WANTED to love people the way they deserve...and I definitely haven't forgiven like I need to. Thus I've let things get in my way. I've been angry with people. I've been hurt by people and I have refused to forgive them.
Why? Because I'm selfish. Because I've been living life simply for Brittany. That is all. I haven't cared about anyone else. I've wanted to make sure that I get what I want, when I want it, and if that doesn't happen I simply get pissed off. I get frustrated. I get angry....and upset.
If someone hurts me, well, screw them. If someone refuses to hear my side on something, screw them. That's been my whole attitude. And honestly it's probably going to take a lot to get me out of this attitude...but I'm going to do my best to be the person I have been made to be. God has called me to be so much more than I'm living up to. I'm not living up to my fullest potential. I'm simply getting by. That's not right. There's a lot of people in my life right now I need to forgive, and let my anger go. To realize life isn't as long as I think it is. I want to live life to the fullest...and it may take a lot for me to do that, but I don't really think it's an option here.
I've attached the song...read the lyrics...it's pretty awesome.
"We Live"~SuperChick
There's a cross on the side of the road
Where a mother lost her son
How could she know that the morning he left
Would be the last time she'd trade with him for a little more time
(so she could say she loved him one last time)
And hold him tight
But with life we never know when we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
There's a man who waits for the tests to
See if the cancer had spread yet
And now he asks so why did I wait to live 'til it was time to die
If I could have the time back, how I'd live
Life is such a gift
So how does the story end?
Well, this is your story and it all depends
So don't let it become true
Get out and do what we were meant to do
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
Waking up to another dark morning
People are mourning
The weather in life outside is storming
But what would it take for the clouds to break
For us to realize each day
Is a gift somehow, someway
And get our heads up out of this darkness
And spark this new mindset and start on with life cuz it ain't gone yet
And tragedy's a reminder to take off the blinders and wake up
(to live the life)
We're supposed to take up
(moving forward)
With all our heads up
Cuz life is worth living
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
How many times I forget this. I forget that my life could be over in a heartbeat. I forget that I need to live my life like I do not have another day. If I aspire to leave this huge legacy for people, why am I not living my life in love? Lately I have had a hard time with this. I haven't WANTED to love people the way they deserve...and I definitely haven't forgiven like I need to. Thus I've let things get in my way. I've been angry with people. I've been hurt by people and I have refused to forgive them.
Why? Because I'm selfish. Because I've been living life simply for Brittany. That is all. I haven't cared about anyone else. I've wanted to make sure that I get what I want, when I want it, and if that doesn't happen I simply get pissed off. I get frustrated. I get angry....and upset.
If someone hurts me, well, screw them. If someone refuses to hear my side on something, screw them. That's been my whole attitude. And honestly it's probably going to take a lot to get me out of this attitude...but I'm going to do my best to be the person I have been made to be. God has called me to be so much more than I'm living up to. I'm not living up to my fullest potential. I'm simply getting by. That's not right. There's a lot of people in my life right now I need to forgive, and let my anger go. To realize life isn't as long as I think it is. I want to live life to the fullest...and it may take a lot for me to do that, but I don't really think it's an option here.
I've attached the song...read the lyrics...it's pretty awesome.
"We Live"~SuperChick
There's a cross on the side of the road
Where a mother lost her son
How could she know that the morning he left
Would be the last time she'd trade with him for a little more time
(so she could say she loved him one last time)
And hold him tight
But with life we never know when we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
There's a man who waits for the tests to
See if the cancer had spread yet
And now he asks so why did I wait to live 'til it was time to die
If I could have the time back, how I'd live
Life is such a gift
So how does the story end?
Well, this is your story and it all depends
So don't let it become true
Get out and do what we were meant to do
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
Waking up to another dark morning
People are mourning
The weather in life outside is storming
But what would it take for the clouds to break
For us to realize each day
Is a gift somehow, someway
And get our heads up out of this darkness
And spark this new mindset and start on with life cuz it ain't gone yet
And tragedy's a reminder to take off the blinders and wake up
(to live the life)
We're supposed to take up
(moving forward)
With all our heads up
Cuz life is worth living
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live, we love, we forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
January 31, 2009
A relaxing weekend...for both of us =)
So this weekend I decided to bring my nephew to Greenville with me. I always hang out with him, and I always have him spend the night with me on the weekends...but we never get to hang out just us...where there are no other kids around...and no other Grandparents/parents around....so this weekend it has just been me and him...minus the few moments with my friends. We have had an excellent weekend together. Last night we went to Deadwood with a few of my friends...he got the chance to ride the train there, and then we left and went to the ECU Hockey Game. He had a blast there also...we slept very well last night, with no babies waking us up this morning.
This morning we watched movies together, ate breakfast together, and then we both got cleaned up and went to "The Jumping Monkey"...He REALLY enjoyed himself there. I can't say I loved the commotion of the place, but if it made him happy...that's what matters. For lunch he decided he wanted to go to Burger King (gross, but okay)--so we had lunch together at Burger King, and then we went to the park to play. I am a little kid at heart so I really enjoyed playing with him at the park. It got cold really fast, so we left...and then he helped me cook dinner. One of the things he said that I absolutely loved was" I'm a good helper, I'm a great cooker"--it was too cute! I could see the excitement in his face that he loved being able to help me in the kitchen. I really love spending time with Ethan. Right now he's sitting here with his head on my shoulder playing with my hair, and we're watching TV together. The time I spend with Ethan is absolutely precious to me. My brother and his wife are coming to get Ethan tomorrow, and I won't see him for two weeks or more which makes me really sad--but I will survive...haha.
When Ethan was first born I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him because I was gone a lot...and my first year of college I wasn't around Him much either...so I am trying to make up for being absent as much as I can.
Anyway...here are some pictures of our weekend together!
Before the Hockey Game! Sporting his Aunt Britt's school :)
Ethan's EXCITED face on the train at Deadwood =)
In the caboose of the train at Deadwood =)
Ethan and one of his "Girlfriends", my friend Martha, at the Hockey Game
At Burger King
Ethan and I at the park =)
That's definitely not all the pictures, but it's what I'm putting here =)
This morning we watched movies together, ate breakfast together, and then we both got cleaned up and went to "The Jumping Monkey"...He REALLY enjoyed himself there. I can't say I loved the commotion of the place, but if it made him happy...that's what matters. For lunch he decided he wanted to go to Burger King (gross, but okay)--so we had lunch together at Burger King, and then we went to the park to play. I am a little kid at heart so I really enjoyed playing with him at the park. It got cold really fast, so we left...and then he helped me cook dinner. One of the things he said that I absolutely loved was" I'm a good helper, I'm a great cooker"--it was too cute! I could see the excitement in his face that he loved being able to help me in the kitchen. I really love spending time with Ethan. Right now he's sitting here with his head on my shoulder playing with my hair, and we're watching TV together. The time I spend with Ethan is absolutely precious to me. My brother and his wife are coming to get Ethan tomorrow, and I won't see him for two weeks or more which makes me really sad--but I will survive...haha.
When Ethan was first born I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him because I was gone a lot...and my first year of college I wasn't around Him much either...so I am trying to make up for being absent as much as I can.
Anyway...here are some pictures of our weekend together!
Before the Hockey Game! Sporting his Aunt Britt's school :)
Ethan's EXCITED face on the train at Deadwood =)
In the caboose of the train at Deadwood =)
Ethan and one of his "Girlfriends", my friend Martha, at the Hockey Game
At Burger King
Ethan and I at the park =)
That's definitely not all the pictures, but it's what I'm putting here =)
January 03, 2009
A little about me...
I took this survey from my friend Drea ...I am bored and I figured I would do it as well =)
Name: Brittany, or Britt--whichever you may prefer
DOB: Jun 16, 1988
Marital Status: Single
Children: None
Location: Somewhere in NC
Height: 5 ft. 1 inch (short :) )
Weight: Haha--I'm not posting that here
Hair: Auburn/Brown
Eyes: Hazel
Nationality: Caucasian
Siblings: 2 brothers--Eric is the oldest (35) and Patrick (29)
Personality: I'm not sure how I would describe my personality--I can seem shy at first, but once you get me to open up it's really hard to get me to stop talking. I like to keep to myself--I am in deep thought a lot of the time, but I can be very extroverted at times depending on who I am with. I like to say I have a goofy personality--but once again that really depends on who I am with.
Occupation: Student
Loves: God--Without Him I would be absolutely nothing. My family. My nieces and nephew most definitely--they stole my heart they day they were born. Learning new things. Taking pictures. Writing. Reading.
Hates: Any kind of food with a weird texture, deliberate stupidity. I dislike the trait of someone who refuses to see life at a different angle, or closed minded people who refuse to accept that sometimes that might be wrong.
Favorite Colors: Blue and purple, and any tones that are "beachy" I guess
Favorite Movies: Batman: The Dark Knight, Mama Mia, P.S. I love you, Deja Vu, A walk to Remember, There's a lot more but those are ones off the top of my head
Favorite Music: Too much to name!! I like a lot of old 90's music, but I like newer stuff as well. I have different tastes in music depending on my mood--I like Contemporary Christian music, and some Christian alternative music
Favorite TV Shows: Big Bang Theory, How I met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, The Secret Life of an American Teenager....There's more I'm sure I just can't think right now
Favorite Fast Food: Sonic, Taco Bell, Subway--I'm not a HUGE fan of fast food...
Favorite Restaurants: Any kind of Asian restaurant, Hibachi Express, Applebee's, Any place where I can get good pasta
Name: Brittany, or Britt--whichever you may prefer
DOB: Jun 16, 1988
Marital Status: Single
Children: None
Location: Somewhere in NC
Height: 5 ft. 1 inch (short :) )
Weight: Haha--I'm not posting that here
Hair: Auburn/Brown
Eyes: Hazel
Nationality: Caucasian
Siblings: 2 brothers--Eric is the oldest (35) and Patrick (29)
Personality: I'm not sure how I would describe my personality--I can seem shy at first, but once you get me to open up it's really hard to get me to stop talking. I like to keep to myself--I am in deep thought a lot of the time, but I can be very extroverted at times depending on who I am with. I like to say I have a goofy personality--but once again that really depends on who I am with.
Occupation: Student
Loves: God--Without Him I would be absolutely nothing. My family. My nieces and nephew most definitely--they stole my heart they day they were born. Learning new things. Taking pictures. Writing. Reading.
Hates: Any kind of food with a weird texture, deliberate stupidity. I dislike the trait of someone who refuses to see life at a different angle, or closed minded people who refuse to accept that sometimes that might be wrong.
Favorite Colors: Blue and purple, and any tones that are "beachy" I guess
Favorite Movies: Batman: The Dark Knight, Mama Mia, P.S. I love you, Deja Vu, A walk to Remember, There's a lot more but those are ones off the top of my head
Favorite Music: Too much to name!! I like a lot of old 90's music, but I like newer stuff as well. I have different tastes in music depending on my mood--I like Contemporary Christian music, and some Christian alternative music
Favorite TV Shows: Big Bang Theory, How I met Your Mother, Grey's Anatomy, The Secret Life of an American Teenager....There's more I'm sure I just can't think right now
Favorite Fast Food: Sonic, Taco Bell, Subway--I'm not a HUGE fan of fast food...
Favorite Restaurants: Any kind of Asian restaurant, Hibachi Express, Applebee's, Any place where I can get good pasta
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