....and it hasn't exactly been easy. I've gone from being surrounded by eight people who were grounded in their faith, and in love with life...to the reality that not everyone loves the way Christ loves. Not everyone is as grounded in their faith as others. Not everyone forgives as they should. Not everyone believes. I expected it to be hard to come back to NC, to home, and to school, but I didn't expect to be as hard as it has been.
Through the difficult moments I have wondered why. I have wondered why I was around so many awesome people this summer, only to come back to what my life is really like. I have wondered why the accountability I had this summer had to be taken away when I got back to school.
Then I realized...I will never know all the answers. I realized my accountability wasn't taken away. Even though I am not with the people I was with this summer 24 hours a day 7 days a week, they are still my family. They still love me and care about me. I still love them and would do anything in the world for them.
I realized God has a purpose and a plan for me and he's simply been waiting for me to say "yes God I will do what you ask"...He's been waiting for me to realize that there is a call far greater in my life than simply being comfortable and content with my surroundings.
This summer wasn't easy all the time, but I was comfortable. I was content with the people I was living with.
I have to say God has really had to throw me on my tail since I've been home. He's had to show me that the fairy tale I had in my head doesn't exactly exist. He had to help me realize that there is indeed sin in this world and I have to fight against it daily. I have to live my life for Him, and glorify Him through everything I do...regardless of how hard it may seem at the time. It's called perseverance.
I have had to come to the realization that no one, and no thing is perfect. Things are going to be tough. People are going to talk about me behind my back, and not everyone is going to like me or love me. This perfect little world I was living in before wasn't real. It was what I wanted but it was far from reality. I miss summershine more than I ever thought I would. I miss the team we had. I miss the constant accountability. I miss knowing that I would go to bed each night with a cabin of girls laughing until we fell asleep.
I had people telling me this summer that my happiness was going to come to an end and that all good things will come to an end. That is a lie! I've felt like it within the past month, yes. I have felt defeated and exhausted, but...I was listening to those lies. I can still be happy because happiness is a choice. And that good thing I had this summer, it didn't come to an end. It may have changed but it's still going on...just in different locations....
God is great. Life isn't always easy but it's good =). There's a call on my heart that I have to listen to. I am in Greenville for a purpose. I am in CCF for a purpose. I am where I am for this moment to serve my Father in whatever way He calls me to do...and I'm done running away.
