Matthew 26:27 "Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying,
"Drink from it, all of you."
Thanksgiving is two days away, and all month I have seen facebook posts of people saying what they are Thankful for. I have honestly only seen a few statuses saying they were Thankful for God and what He has given us.
The verse above is a reminder to me of what I'm constantly thankful for. The God of the universe sent His son to die. In this verse Christ is sitting around the table with his disciples, and He's giving Thanks for the cup, the cup that is showing symbolism for what He is about to do. He's giving thanks for his ability to give Himself as a sacrifice for the sins we commit each day. Willingly laying down His life for our sins, and being the sacrifice and grace we do not deserve.
So, besides being thankful for the earthly things, the number one I am thankful for is the Grace that has been given to me by my heavenly father.
What else to be thankful for?
My family...We do not get along a lot of the time, but I am blessed with a family. God gave me a mom and a dad, who even though they do not always get along, they are there for me and they love me and support me in all I do. They have always been willing to accept what I have wanted to do with my life, even if they do not always agree with it. There are things I have done in my life that my parents have allowed me to do that I am so thankful they allowed...because at 21 years old I have grown and learned so much than I believe some people will in their lifetime.
I have two of the greatest big brothers in the world. Even though we don't always get along either, I LOVE my big brothers. They have always been there for me. They have taken care of me, and even though I know my older brother could not stand having to be home with his little sister when he was a teenager, he did it anyway. We all three have a very special relationship that could never be recreated. I am thankful for their wives who are the sisters I never had...I am thankful for their children who mean the absolute world to me. I am thankful for my Grandparents who raised me to be who I am today, even if I did take a few detours along the way.
I am so thankful for those friends in my life who are more like my family. They aren't even friends I have grown up with, and they aren't friends who live right around the corner, or even in the same state, but they are friends who know more about me than anyone else. They understand my complexities, they see me for who I am, and they love me through it all. These are friends who I would do anything in the world for, and who I know will be friends for life. They are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I could never ask for better friends.
I tend to complain a lot...but in the midst of the complaining I do realize what I have in this life that I am so undeserving of. I am thankful of education and the fact that I was able to go to college, and even though there are days I HATE being in school, I am so thankful that I can be there and further my education.
I am thankful that I can freely serve and worship the God of the universe.
I am thankful that I realize I am not perfect, and that no one is. I am thankful for those imperfections, because with those it makes it even more of a reason to rely on God.
We are all undeserving of what we have...but we are given all of these things. Yes some things we earn, but it wouldn't be available to even earn if it weren't for the Grace God has given us.
Praise be to God that I can sit here right now on a computer and write this blog...
Praise be to God that I can go to a coffee shop, where the owners are Christian, and read for hours in order to relax.
Praise GOD for the little things in this life...the smiles we miss, the gusts of wind that are little reminders of life...the things that may get on our nerves now, but are blessings later.
Praise God for a new day to live =).
I am thankful for so much because I am given so so much from the God who reigns!
November 24, 2009
November 06, 2009
Welcome To The Masquerade...
"I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed, I'm not to blame, I'm not okay, Welcome to the masquerade"~Thousand Foot Krutch
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
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