Are you hearing?

"... listen to his voice, and hold fast to him..." Deuteronomy 30:20

So for the past year or so I have really been wondering where I will be after I finish at ECU. I have this yearning in my soul to serve in a way that God wants. I desire to really give back to God what He has given to me. Through my life I have had many people in my life who have helped me really hear God's voice...in the stillness He is there.
I have had my struggles, and I still struggle with a lot of things, but if it were not for God placing people in my life who have lead me back to Him I would not be where I am.
I love children. I love working with them, playing with them, helping them. I love the idea of being able to work with children who typically get pushed to the side.
When I first started college I wanted to teach High School English. I had a couple of really great teachers in High School who helped me stick to my desire to make it in life. I was not the easiest student to work with. I had a mouth, and I did not have Christ in my heart, and so through a lot of patience these teachers saw through my calloused exterior and really got through to me. I love writing and reading and I wanted to further my life using these things I love. Not only that, though, I wanted to be able to help students the way these teachers helped me. So High School English it was. That did not last long. Through a couple of English classes my first semester in college I realized that I did love English but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life. I did not want to spend so much time with the one thing I found stress relief in, that I no longer enjoyed it. So I chose to switch to Elementary Education.
Three years later I am not graduating. I still have another year to go. It has been a difficult road for me to see God's will in my being at ECU for another year, but I realize He has a purpose and a calling in my life that I do not see yet. But I have listened enough to know this is God's plan.
Next May I will graduate with an Elementary Education degree with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations and a certification in K-12 Reading. What will I do after that?
More school...
Elementary Education is great. Please do not get me wrong. We are in great need for teachers right now, but that just is not my calling. I am not a 1 on 25 type person. I am a one-on-one person. I do not feel I can fulfill my purpose with twenty five kids at a time. Where will I go? That is still up in the air right now.
I've wondered if maybe Seminary would be the right place for me. Do I want to spend another 2-4 years in a secular college gaining a liberal education about counseling? No.
I have received all the liberal education I think I need. I think God feels the same way.
So He is leading me elsewhere after I graduate from ECU. I have an idea of where I may be after graduation, staring in August of 2011...but I am not quite yet revealing where that might be. God's may or may not have this in store for me, and I want to make sure it's HIS voice I am hearing and not my own desires. Of course I know that God's calling will go along with my desires, but I want to make sure that where I am thinking is 100% where God wants me before I reveal where I may be going.
I am listening hard for God's voice in all of life's jumbled noises. Life is noisy. People do not really know how to sit still amongst the madness and really listen for God's voice.
I am one of those people. The idea of QUIET scares me a little. I always have my Ipod in my ears and my phone in my hand to drown out the rest of the noise around me. Either way sometimes even if the song playing through my headphones is a worship song, it can still be noise. Other times though, God reveals himself in a song I am listening to, and it's an amazing thing =).
So what am I hearing? Well prayerfully it is God's voice! He has a plan for me far greater than I can see right now. He has a plan for all of us. We just have to pray for it be revealed...and wait patiently for him to reveal what it is. I am learning to stop listening to the desires of my flesh. I am learning to let go. I am learning to let go of my compulsive desire to have a schedule and just let God do His job. Without a schedule I am sometimes very confused...but God's teaching me to let go of that worldly attribute.
I am learning to let go of my constant impulsiveness and to WAIT.
I am learning to let God have full control....even if I am antsy to do what I want.
HEARING God's voice is easy to say but sometimes very difficult to do.
Listen...
Go back to where God reveals himself in the still small voice.
Not in the wind or the rain or the fire or the earthquake or whatever is going on around us...wait...desire...pray and LISTEN. He's there waiting patiently for us to hear Him.