Surrendering fully

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be freeI know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

This morning I was listening to my iPod and this is the song that really stuck out to me. It's by Barlow Girl, and I think the meaning of it is so strong. How often do we say we're going to give something to God, and then decide not to? We feel like the things that need to be surrendered are what make us who we are. They're our "dreams"...they're a part of us. They make us unique, even if the things we need to surrender are bad for us.
I'm talking to myself here too. It's so much easier said than done. There are things I have said have been surrendered, but really I still hold on to these things for dear life....
Our futures...Different addictions....situations that are out of our control. I remember this summer at the conference I went to in Indiana one of the work shop leaders told us that there is no blue print for our life. That...if we live our lives for the future we are looking to ourselves, but if we live day to day--then we start giving up to God and then He will reveal His great plan to us.
Like I said...so much easier said than done...but it's possible.

LOVE is the movement!!!

Hey everyone

As you all know I am a huge advocate and promoter for "To Write Love on her Arms" and it has brightened my day more than I think anyone can know to see that they made it to the NBC nightly news. 

I encourage you all to watch these videos and see the meaning in this story. Open your hearts. Open your MINDS. Realize that pain is real. Depression is real. Learn to love...and then take action =)

Social Justice in a world of Injustice

So the past few Sunday nights we (CCF) have been studying social justice. This week (the 21st) will make our last week of studying it... however in just two weeks I've learned more, swallowed more, seen more than I ever thought imaginable. The main idea of the study is to make us aware of what's going on in the world as far as injustice... that includes our country. The thing about becoming aware of things like this, is after becoming aware it's impossible to deny that you know it. It's impossible not to do anything--because injustice and justice are on the heart of God.

The first week of the study we learned about different things going on outside of our country (and a little inside)--my group read on unprosecuted rapists. The story I read broke my heart. A lot of these men who rape people as young as 3 and 4 years old go totally unpunished. The story I read included a 4 year old little girl who lived in Kenya and was raped by her neighbor. He threatened her life, and told her she should not tell anyone. Eventually she told her Mom who went to the authorities. The man who raped the little girl threatened their family, and went unprosecuted for a long time. Then the International Justice Mission (IJM) got involved and brought justice to this situation. 

There were other stories too--such as female genital mutilation...sex trafficking...etc. 

This past Sunday night haunted me. It broke my heart and it still has not left my mind. We learned about sex trafficking--however the thing that broke my heart was that it occurs in the United States. I've always had a lot of interest in sex-trafficking. I saw a movie a few years ago called "Trade" by Lionsgate films...and the film was based around sex-trafficking in Mexico. However, this Sunday evening we learned that Atlanta, GA has one of the biggest sex-trafficking sites in the world. www.innocenceatlanta.org is a website that talks more on this topic. It BROKE my heart. We watched a few short clips of sex-trafficking in Cambodia. It made me so angry because there are men who will pay to take a vacation to these countries just to have sex with little girls as young as 5. One man was a doctor from America who was on vacation. Another man was caught eventually and was a fined sex offender from America. He was charged and put in prison for 22 years a few years ago. Others were only put in jail for 8 years or less. The started the sex-trafficking in Atlanta because these "vacations" were starting to get expensive. The thing that kills me the most is that these things happen... and people know about it... and nothing is done about it. IT HAPPENS IN OUR COUNTRY AND NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT! It literally makes my blood boil. I can not stand to think of the fact that this goes on in the United States... but then I remember that the United States isn't perfect either. 

I feel like I have to do something now. It's not just an "o... well that happens, and that's sad but there's nothing I can do"--NO. My heart is broken for the injustice that is happening right here in our Country--supposedly the "land of the free"--that's a bunch of bull to say we're the land of the free when we have such horrid acts happening here. Free to sin. Free to be unjust. Free to ask God's forgiveness after we do something...yet continue on our mary way not thinking twice about what we're not doing to stop things. 

Jaime gave us scripture to look up about how God feels about Justice... and a few stuck out to me. 

"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor he too will cry out and not be answered" ~ Proverbs 21:13

"When you spread out your hands in prayer I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow" Isaiah 1:15-17

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you for you, LORD have never forsaken those who seek you. Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done. For he who avenges blood remembers; he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted." Psalm 9:9-12

"Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked." Jeremiah 20:13

I realize not everyone is called to these certain situations... but there's injustice all around. There are opportunities all around for us to take part in. Be the light God has called you to be. Show the justice God loves. Do what God has commanded. Be who God has called YOU to be =)

The power of Prayer...and the power of love

The past couple of days I've been thinking a lot about the power of prayer...and the power of love. What is prayer? Prayer is a conversation with God. Talking with God where ever we are. Getting on our knees, or bowing our heads, or just coming reverently before God as we walk along. Prayer is an amazing tool we have. We can intercede for other people when they need us to. We can talk to God about anything. Yes...God already knows what we're going to say, but it's building a relationship with God. He loves us and He wants us to talk to Him. Prayer isn't just talking to God though, it's listening to what He has to say also. It's sitting reverently and hearing God tell us his answers to things...what He wants us to do or..NOT to do It's showing God that we LOVE Him and we want to spend time with Him. 

The power of Love....One of my favorite verses in the Bible, as most people know, is 1 John 4:8. "Whoever does not know God does not love, because God is Love" we belong to God...if we are fully His...we will have compassion and love for everyone, because God loves. It's a difficult thing to do sometimes. I know for me...it's a huge deal for me. I don't always love everyone. I don't always love myself--and sometimes I have to spend a day to remind myself that I need to love ME. I'm not saying that in a vain or conceited way...I'm saying it in the sense that if I do not love myself--it's going to be really hard...almost impossible....for me to love anyone else. Love comes from knowing God and spending time with Him. Seeing His love, and then being proactive with that. 

I didn't get the chance to hear the bullhorn preacher on the mall yesterday--but I hear a lot about him. Mainly that he did not preach love, as most of them do not. I'm not judging every bullhorn preacher...I'm not going to say that I love any better than they do...I'm simply stating that if Love is not felt in the manner in which these preachers are trying to share Christ--no one is going to listen. A friend of mine told me that he didn't want to preach the "fluff" or "tickle" anyone's ears. He simply wanted to preach what the Bible said. The Bible is written by the creator of Love!!! God LOVES us unconditionally...His goal for us is not eternal damnation--He wants everyone to know and Love him as passionately as He loves US. Those who do not accept God will go to hell, yes, but that's never God's intention. Christians need to love. To share the hope of the gospel. To PRAY without ceasing. 

As the semester has started again...I want to cover our campus in prayer. Blanket it with the love of God. I don't know what will ever come from that, only God does...but it will require compassion for the people on our campus. I know CCF is huge on prayer walking...and at first I had a hard time with the prayer walk thing because I really felt like it got redundant after a while--however prayer can never be redundant. Prayer is powerful...and God listens to our hearts. If our hearts and minds are focused...God will answer our prayers the way He wants to. 

Making God known throughout the nations

"What if you had to tell someone the most important thing in the world, but you knew they'd never believe you?"


This is a line in a movie I just watched this morning called
Deja Vu. It's a great movie and if you get the chance, try to watch it. You pretty much have to pay attention to it the entire time in order to understand what it's about, but it's really good.
This line made me think though. What if you had to tell someone the most important thing in the world, but you knew they'd never believe you? Isn't that how Christians live out their lives? Or at least that's how we're supposed to live out our lives. We hold the most important, vital information in the entire world...That Jesus Christ is the savior of the world...and accepting and believing in Him will give eternal life.
Not everyone believes us. In fact...a lot of people do not believe in the Christian faith. Yet--we're supposed to share it anyway.

I don't know I just thought this was a cool quote that parallels with the Christian faith...Think about it.

National Student Conference 2008

I just returned from the National Student Conference in Evansville, Indiana. It was amazing. I went to several workshops that really made me think. The trip in itself was just long, and very exhausting both mentally and physically.
Friday we left Greenville at 8:00 a.m. and picked up the other three NC schools in Chapel Hill...we stopped basically every two hours which was absolutely ridiculous, but the fellowship on the way was good =). We stopped in Grayson, KY Friday evening and then got up early Saturday morning to drive the rest of the way to Indiana. Saturday evening Mark Nelson (standingonthedesk.blogspot.com) started the conference out with the thought of "shalom" meaning "peace"--it was really a great sermon speaking on having peace within our relationships. Our relationships with Christians and non-Christians. He also spoke on the verse that says "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me"--everyone seems to interpret that as a very harsh verse...meaning...we have to go to Christ. However the awesome thing is Christ comes to us and meets us where we are...shalom =).
Sunday started the workshops and I went to "Loving Outside the Box" which was really awesome. One of the things that really stuck out to me in this workshop was that America has some of the loneliest people. We are all so closed in, and we bottle stuff inside us...we won't talk about stuff. But we don't look for the lonely and the hurting...those are the poor people along with the homeless. It taught me to watch for the lonely...the hurting...the hungry...the homeless. It was absolutely awesome. People are hurting everywhere. Who am I to judge? I just need to love like Jesus. I also went to "God's Will..debunking the myths" which basically spoke on how our lives are not mapped out by blue prints. We can not say we know what we're doing in our lives...We have to stop looking at the big picture...and trying to figure out our futures...and start living day-by-day. When we look at the big picture we start to focus on ourselves, but when we focus on day-by-day we start focusing on God and his will starts to open up to us. I then went to a workshop called "What does God really think is important" and it basically talked about the emergent church. It was good but went way over my head.
Those were the main workshops I went to...I also went to one about accountability and learned a lot about how to be accountable to people and hold people accountable without making them feel bad, and without making them think it's a court session. Overall the things I learned were great and really made me think. I know God will use me, and already is. We left Wednesday morning, and then our group spent the night in WV. We left WV this morning and made the rest of the trip home this morning. Today I spent a lot of time in thought...chewing on what I learned this week...and kind of having a quiet conversation with God about how he'll use me this year. I had my ipod in, my praise and worship music on, and for the five hour trip home it was me and God. It was pretty awesome.
This was my week...it was awesome and I know those of us who went can teach others also.

While in Indiana I bought a book called "the shack". It is probably the most amazing book I've ever read. It's a Christian novel, but it takes away all the cliche ideas of a Christian novel. It talks about an intimate relationship with God and seeing God's three intity's...when I finish reading it I'll write a post about it and try not to give it away.

Expectationless Expectations

The past few months I've been learning from a great friend of mine how to have "expectationless expectations". Basically saying to go into everything realzing that...I may have expectations but not to get let down--then I won't get hurt. To just go into every situation with an open mind.
It's a harder concept than I thought it would be. I say that in the sense that...it's changed me a lot...by having expectationless expectations I'm able to live my life more and not focus on old friends...or old relationships. I'm able to love myself the way I'm supposed to love myself. The way God has called me to love myself. I can't exactly say it's always easy. Last night I really struggled with it. I'm realizing how hard it is for me to be around friends who I used to be better friends with. It's hard for me to be around friends who know a lot about me...and who Did a lot for me. However I also am learning that intentions behind actions aren't always what they seem.
I'm learning who I need to trust. Right now I have a couple of people who I really trust with my heart. Above all I trust my heart to God--He knows who I am...He knows everything about me, and yet he still rescues me and loves me despite any faults I might have. I'm learning that I can have friends who I can hang out with and enjoy my time with without them knowing everything about me...But I'm also learning how to surrender to myself in certain circumstances. I'm learning all of this through one of God's greatest servants, and one of my greatest friends. I'm excited to see how God's going to use me this coming school year...He's changing me each day--and I know He's going to rock my world in a big way. I'm grateful for the new relationships that have come out of old circumstances...and I'm blessed beyond belief.
Expectationless expectations...sometimes hard, but so far always worth it.