I just saw the re-make for "We are the world" for Haiti...It was so awesome to see these musical artists joined together, singing a song, and all for the purpose of joining together to help Haiti.
Not only are they the world.
Not only are WE the world.
We are God's people.
This isn't a Christian song, but it could be.
We ARE the World sent out by Christ...We are his people to go to all nations.
Beautiful.
There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
We can't go on
Pretneding day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need
[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand
[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one
[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
February 13, 2010
December 13, 2009
We matter more than we'll ever realize
Before going any further please watch the above video...it is enough to make you think two different things "Why do I matter to God"--which in the end is a ridiculous question because this video is inspiring enough to make us think "Man...I'm THAT small and God still watches me, still loves me, still CARES"...The God of the Universe Loves US!
We're going through the Crazy Love series in our Sunday School class at church. I read the book about 8 months ago and I love it. It's enough to make a person think about what their purpose is in this world. It is a challenge to those of us who say we Love God, yet do not act on it. We cover up our God with excuses...instead of loving people enough to tell them the truth.
I do not want to get to the end of my life having allowed my own convictions to die before I do.
This morning in church our sermon was on John 15:1-17
Dr. Darville spoke on the metaphor of verses 1-8 and Johns extension of that Metaphor in verses 9-17.
It is the final "I am" statement God makes.
Take a minute and remember that when God says "I am" it is not just a general statement...it is His name "YHWH"
I loved the sermon this morning because Dr. Darville showed us the difference between Israel and Jesus. The Vine is a symbol for Israel, which is replaced by Jesus because Israel produced fruitlessness while Jesus (the TRUE vine) produces GREAT fruit.
The awesome thing that I got from this sermon, talking about the Vine and the branches that I've heard hundreds of times...is that We are a part of this Vine. We are the branches. We are in the covenant with God and WE must bear fruit. We can not just be compliant and have mechanical change in our lives...we MUST listen to our hearts and have Organic change...REAL change...We can not just believe in this God (who created this enormous Universe and doesn't have to love us or watch us but chooses to)...but we must engage in His plan for our lives.
I learned a lot today. I want to be a part of this covenant with God. I want to share life with God like I share life with my friends. I want to know His thoughts and feelings...I want to hurt for what He hurts for and Love who He loves. I want to desire to fulfill His plan in my life, not knowing WHERE He will lead me.
This awe inspiring God does not need me, but He wants me. He wants all of us to share life with Him in a way we never have before.
The God of the universe LOVES us. He desires a relationship with us! He wants us to bear fruit for Him...
One of the things Dr. Darville said in His sermon today that really stuck...was when he was talking about pruning. In John 15 Jesus speaks of God having to prune so that more fruit can be beared...If you ever watch someone who knows what they are doing prune their fruit or plants...it doesn't look like it would feel too good.
Sometimes God prunes us and it hurts. He takes things from us that we might ask "why"...but it's His way of helping us bear more fruit for His kingdom and glory.
Man what an awesome God we serve!
December 01, 2009
Are you hearing?
"... listen to his voice, and hold fast to him..." Deuteronomy 30:20
So for the past year or so I have really been wondering where I will be after I finish at ECU. I have this yearning in my soul to serve in a way that God wants. I desire to really give back to God what He has given to me. Through my life I have had many people in my life who have helped me really hear God's voice...in the stillness He is there.
I have had my struggles, and I still struggle with a lot of things, but if it were not for God placing people in my life who have lead me back to Him I would not be where I am.
I love children. I love working with them, playing with them, helping them. I love the idea of being able to work with children who typically get pushed to the side.
When I first started college I wanted to teach High School English. I had a couple of really great teachers in High School who helped me stick to my desire to make it in life. I was not the easiest student to work with. I had a mouth, and I did not have Christ in my heart, and so through a lot of patience these teachers saw through my calloused exterior and really got through to me. I love writing and reading and I wanted to further my life using these things I love. Not only that, though, I wanted to be able to help students the way these teachers helped me. So High School English it was. That did not last long. Through a couple of English classes my first semester in college I realized that I did love English but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life. I did not want to spend so much time with the one thing I found stress relief in, that I no longer enjoyed it. So I chose to switch to Elementary Education.
Three years later I am not graduating. I still have another year to go. It has been a difficult road for me to see God's will in my being at ECU for another year, but I realize He has a purpose and a calling in my life that I do not see yet. But I have listened enough to know this is God's plan.
Next May I will graduate with an Elementary Education degree with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations and a certification in K-12 Reading. What will I do after that?
More school...
Elementary Education is great. Please do not get me wrong. We are in great need for teachers right now, but that just is not my calling. I am not a 1 on 25 type person. I am a one-on-one person. I do not feel I can fulfill my purpose with twenty five kids at a time. Where will I go? That is still up in the air right now.
I've wondered if maybe Seminary would be the right place for me. Do I want to spend another 2-4 years in a secular college gaining a liberal education about counseling? No.
I have received all the liberal education I think I need. I think God feels the same way.
So He is leading me elsewhere after I graduate from ECU. I have an idea of where I may be after graduation, staring in August of 2011...but I am not quite yet revealing where that might be. God's may or may not have this in store for me, and I want to make sure it's HIS voice I am hearing and not my own desires. Of course I know that God's calling will go along with my desires, but I want to make sure that where I am thinking is 100% where God wants me before I reveal where I may be going.
I am listening hard for God's voice in all of life's jumbled noises. Life is noisy. People do not really know how to sit still amongst the madness and really listen for God's voice.
I am one of those people. The idea of QUIET scares me a little. I always have my Ipod in my ears and my phone in my hand to drown out the rest of the noise around me. Either way sometimes even if the song playing through my headphones is a worship song, it can still be noise. Other times though, God reveals himself in a song I am listening to, and it's an amazing thing =).
So what am I hearing? Well prayerfully it is God's voice! He has a plan for me far greater than I can see right now. He has a plan for all of us. We just have to pray for it be revealed...and wait patiently for him to reveal what it is. I am learning to stop listening to the desires of my flesh. I am learning to let go. I am learning to let go of my compulsive desire to have a schedule and just let God do His job. Without a schedule I am sometimes very confused...but God's teaching me to let go of that worldly attribute.
I am learning to let go of my constant impulsiveness and to WAIT.
I am learning to let God have full control....even if I am antsy to do what I want.
HEARING God's voice is easy to say but sometimes very difficult to do.
Listen...
Go back to where God reveals himself in the still small voice.
Not in the wind or the rain or the fire or the earthquake or whatever is going on around us...wait...desire...pray and LISTEN. He's there waiting patiently for us to hear Him.
So for the past year or so I have really been wondering where I will be after I finish at ECU. I have this yearning in my soul to serve in a way that God wants. I desire to really give back to God what He has given to me. Through my life I have had many people in my life who have helped me really hear God's voice...in the stillness He is there.
I have had my struggles, and I still struggle with a lot of things, but if it were not for God placing people in my life who have lead me back to Him I would not be where I am.
I love children. I love working with them, playing with them, helping them. I love the idea of being able to work with children who typically get pushed to the side.
When I first started college I wanted to teach High School English. I had a couple of really great teachers in High School who helped me stick to my desire to make it in life. I was not the easiest student to work with. I had a mouth, and I did not have Christ in my heart, and so through a lot of patience these teachers saw through my calloused exterior and really got through to me. I love writing and reading and I wanted to further my life using these things I love. Not only that, though, I wanted to be able to help students the way these teachers helped me. So High School English it was. That did not last long. Through a couple of English classes my first semester in college I realized that I did love English but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life. I did not want to spend so much time with the one thing I found stress relief in, that I no longer enjoyed it. So I chose to switch to Elementary Education.
Three years later I am not graduating. I still have another year to go. It has been a difficult road for me to see God's will in my being at ECU for another year, but I realize He has a purpose and a calling in my life that I do not see yet. But I have listened enough to know this is God's plan.
Next May I will graduate with an Elementary Education degree with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations and a certification in K-12 Reading. What will I do after that?
More school...
Elementary Education is great. Please do not get me wrong. We are in great need for teachers right now, but that just is not my calling. I am not a 1 on 25 type person. I am a one-on-one person. I do not feel I can fulfill my purpose with twenty five kids at a time. Where will I go? That is still up in the air right now.
I've wondered if maybe Seminary would be the right place for me. Do I want to spend another 2-4 years in a secular college gaining a liberal education about counseling? No.
I have received all the liberal education I think I need. I think God feels the same way.
So He is leading me elsewhere after I graduate from ECU. I have an idea of where I may be after graduation, staring in August of 2011...but I am not quite yet revealing where that might be. God's may or may not have this in store for me, and I want to make sure it's HIS voice I am hearing and not my own desires. Of course I know that God's calling will go along with my desires, but I want to make sure that where I am thinking is 100% where God wants me before I reveal where I may be going.
I am listening hard for God's voice in all of life's jumbled noises. Life is noisy. People do not really know how to sit still amongst the madness and really listen for God's voice.
I am one of those people. The idea of QUIET scares me a little. I always have my Ipod in my ears and my phone in my hand to drown out the rest of the noise around me. Either way sometimes even if the song playing through my headphones is a worship song, it can still be noise. Other times though, God reveals himself in a song I am listening to, and it's an amazing thing =).
So what am I hearing? Well prayerfully it is God's voice! He has a plan for me far greater than I can see right now. He has a plan for all of us. We just have to pray for it be revealed...and wait patiently for him to reveal what it is. I am learning to stop listening to the desires of my flesh. I am learning to let go. I am learning to let go of my compulsive desire to have a schedule and just let God do His job. Without a schedule I am sometimes very confused...but God's teaching me to let go of that worldly attribute.
I am learning to let go of my constant impulsiveness and to WAIT.
I am learning to let God have full control....even if I am antsy to do what I want.
HEARING God's voice is easy to say but sometimes very difficult to do.
Listen...
Go back to where God reveals himself in the still small voice.
Not in the wind or the rain or the fire or the earthquake or whatever is going on around us...wait...desire...pray and LISTEN. He's there waiting patiently for us to hear Him.
November 24, 2009
Thankful for more than just the earthly things...
Matthew 26:27 "Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying,
"Drink from it, all of you."
Thanksgiving is two days away, and all month I have seen facebook posts of people saying what they are Thankful for. I have honestly only seen a few statuses saying they were Thankful for God and what He has given us.
The verse above is a reminder to me of what I'm constantly thankful for. The God of the universe sent His son to die. In this verse Christ is sitting around the table with his disciples, and He's giving Thanks for the cup, the cup that is showing symbolism for what He is about to do. He's giving thanks for his ability to give Himself as a sacrifice for the sins we commit each day. Willingly laying down His life for our sins, and being the sacrifice and grace we do not deserve.
So, besides being thankful for the earthly things, the number one I am thankful for is the Grace that has been given to me by my heavenly father.
What else to be thankful for?
My family...We do not get along a lot of the time, but I am blessed with a family. God gave me a mom and a dad, who even though they do not always get along, they are there for me and they love me and support me in all I do. They have always been willing to accept what I have wanted to do with my life, even if they do not always agree with it. There are things I have done in my life that my parents have allowed me to do that I am so thankful they allowed...because at 21 years old I have grown and learned so much than I believe some people will in their lifetime.
I have two of the greatest big brothers in the world. Even though we don't always get along either, I LOVE my big brothers. They have always been there for me. They have taken care of me, and even though I know my older brother could not stand having to be home with his little sister when he was a teenager, he did it anyway. We all three have a very special relationship that could never be recreated. I am thankful for their wives who are the sisters I never had...I am thankful for their children who mean the absolute world to me. I am thankful for my Grandparents who raised me to be who I am today, even if I did take a few detours along the way.
I am so thankful for those friends in my life who are more like my family. They aren't even friends I have grown up with, and they aren't friends who live right around the corner, or even in the same state, but they are friends who know more about me than anyone else. They understand my complexities, they see me for who I am, and they love me through it all. These are friends who I would do anything in the world for, and who I know will be friends for life. They are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I could never ask for better friends.
I tend to complain a lot...but in the midst of the complaining I do realize what I have in this life that I am so undeserving of. I am thankful of education and the fact that I was able to go to college, and even though there are days I HATE being in school, I am so thankful that I can be there and further my education.
I am thankful that I can freely serve and worship the God of the universe.
I am thankful that I realize I am not perfect, and that no one is. I am thankful for those imperfections, because with those it makes it even more of a reason to rely on God.
We are all undeserving of what we have...but we are given all of these things. Yes some things we earn, but it wouldn't be available to even earn if it weren't for the Grace God has given us.
Praise be to God that I can sit here right now on a computer and write this blog...
Praise be to God that I can go to a coffee shop, where the owners are Christian, and read for hours in order to relax.
Praise GOD for the little things in this life...the smiles we miss, the gusts of wind that are little reminders of life...the things that may get on our nerves now, but are blessings later.
Praise God for a new day to live =).
I am thankful for so much because I am given so so much from the God who reigns!
"Drink from it, all of you."
Thanksgiving is two days away, and all month I have seen facebook posts of people saying what they are Thankful for. I have honestly only seen a few statuses saying they were Thankful for God and what He has given us.
The verse above is a reminder to me of what I'm constantly thankful for. The God of the universe sent His son to die. In this verse Christ is sitting around the table with his disciples, and He's giving Thanks for the cup, the cup that is showing symbolism for what He is about to do. He's giving thanks for his ability to give Himself as a sacrifice for the sins we commit each day. Willingly laying down His life for our sins, and being the sacrifice and grace we do not deserve.
So, besides being thankful for the earthly things, the number one I am thankful for is the Grace that has been given to me by my heavenly father.
What else to be thankful for?
My family...We do not get along a lot of the time, but I am blessed with a family. God gave me a mom and a dad, who even though they do not always get along, they are there for me and they love me and support me in all I do. They have always been willing to accept what I have wanted to do with my life, even if they do not always agree with it. There are things I have done in my life that my parents have allowed me to do that I am so thankful they allowed...because at 21 years old I have grown and learned so much than I believe some people will in their lifetime.
I have two of the greatest big brothers in the world. Even though we don't always get along either, I LOVE my big brothers. They have always been there for me. They have taken care of me, and even though I know my older brother could not stand having to be home with his little sister when he was a teenager, he did it anyway. We all three have a very special relationship that could never be recreated. I am thankful for their wives who are the sisters I never had...I am thankful for their children who mean the absolute world to me. I am thankful for my Grandparents who raised me to be who I am today, even if I did take a few detours along the way.
I am so thankful for those friends in my life who are more like my family. They aren't even friends I have grown up with, and they aren't friends who live right around the corner, or even in the same state, but they are friends who know more about me than anyone else. They understand my complexities, they see me for who I am, and they love me through it all. These are friends who I would do anything in the world for, and who I know will be friends for life. They are brothers and sisters in Christ, and I could never ask for better friends.
I tend to complain a lot...but in the midst of the complaining I do realize what I have in this life that I am so undeserving of. I am thankful of education and the fact that I was able to go to college, and even though there are days I HATE being in school, I am so thankful that I can be there and further my education.
I am thankful that I can freely serve and worship the God of the universe.
I am thankful that I realize I am not perfect, and that no one is. I am thankful for those imperfections, because with those it makes it even more of a reason to rely on God.
We are all undeserving of what we have...but we are given all of these things. Yes some things we earn, but it wouldn't be available to even earn if it weren't for the Grace God has given us.
Praise be to God that I can sit here right now on a computer and write this blog...
Praise be to God that I can go to a coffee shop, where the owners are Christian, and read for hours in order to relax.
Praise GOD for the little things in this life...the smiles we miss, the gusts of wind that are little reminders of life...the things that may get on our nerves now, but are blessings later.
Praise God for a new day to live =).
I am thankful for so much because I am given so so much from the God who reigns!
November 06, 2009
Welcome To The Masquerade...
"I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed, I'm not to blame, I'm not okay, Welcome to the masquerade"~Thousand Foot Krutch
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
Look up the song above...I heard it for the first time in concert about a month ago.
I'm not posting the lyrics simply to say look them up. I'm posting them to say it's true in my life right now. And I may be completely taking it out of context but I'm putting it where it is in my life. I am not afraid to live my life in a way that will honor my heavenly father. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...I am not to blame (or maybe I am)...I'm NOT okay. All these emotions have been running through my mind the past few weeks. So welcome to the masquerade. Welcome to the show...where I put on a front (or do I?)
Welcome to my life. Welcome to the reality that I have been back at school for two months and my focus has been two things...school, and God.
God first.
He has brought me out of so many things in my life. He has taught me to rely completely on Him. He has shown me that he is the only real constant in my life. He has placed AMAZING people in my life, who even though they live hours away from me, mean SO MUCH to me. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They lift me up and make me realize my importance in this life. They help me remember my importance in Christ and my significance.
These friends bring me back to reality...and help me stop having pity parties. Praise be to God for placing these friends in my life.
School.
I honestly can't say it's the most enjoyable thing in my life right now. It's frustrating. I keep being reminded that I'm not graduating this May....when I was in High School I was supposed to graduate college in four years and become an amazing teacher and change the world.
That was High School and that was far from reality...it was my fantasy I had created in my head.
Seven years after starting high school and four years into college I realize it's not the years that will make the difference but the knowledge I gain. Whether it takes me four years...or five.
I'm still not enjoying school, though. A lot of things have been frustrating me this semester...and I know that it is all God teaching me to continue to rely on Him. It is God telling me to remember that even though school is important and I am where I am for a purpose...He has the plan set out.
I'm not sure where God has me after college. I'm not sure if it's grad school, or if it's serving Him in a different way.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.
I'm not sure WHY I am in Greenville and why I'm so unhappy where I am...
but I am sure of one thing. God knows ALL of those answers.
Where am I going with all of this?? I feel as though maybe I have been keeping a mask on. I've been staying away from people who I don't want to really be back in my life...and I've only been letting certain things out to other friends.
I miss a lot of things...I yearn for and desire to have a lot of things...but I also desire to please my heavenly Father.
I have to let go, and let God.
I have to stop trying and start living.
I have to give it all to God and not just part of it...I have to smile, and be joyous, and accept the grace God has given me. I am so undeserving...but that's why it's called Grace.
So here I am. Ultimately broken. Desiring nothing more than to be who God has called me to be. I hurt...I struggle...but I want to be Gods. So here's to listening...here's to giving up myself and taking on God's call.
Here's to taking off the mask...and really being broken before God.
Here's to the life God has set out for me...
and here's to right now.
September 15, 2009
I've been back a month....
....and it hasn't exactly been easy. I've gone from being surrounded by eight people who were grounded in their faith, and in love with life...to the reality that not everyone loves the way Christ loves. Not everyone is as grounded in their faith as others. Not everyone forgives as they should. Not everyone believes. I expected it to be hard to come back to NC, to home, and to school, but I didn't expect to be as hard as it has been.
Through the difficult moments I have wondered why. I have wondered why I was around so many awesome people this summer, only to come back to what my life is really like. I have wondered why the accountability I had this summer had to be taken away when I got back to school.
Then I realized...I will never know all the answers. I realized my accountability wasn't taken away. Even though I am not with the people I was with this summer 24 hours a day 7 days a week, they are still my family. They still love me and care about me. I still love them and would do anything in the world for them.
I realized God has a purpose and a plan for me and he's simply been waiting for me to say "yes God I will do what you ask"...He's been waiting for me to realize that there is a call far greater in my life than simply being comfortable and content with my surroundings.
This summer wasn't easy all the time, but I was comfortable. I was content with the people I was living with.
I have to say God has really had to throw me on my tail since I've been home. He's had to show me that the fairy tale I had in my head doesn't exactly exist. He had to help me realize that there is indeed sin in this world and I have to fight against it daily. I have to live my life for Him, and glorify Him through everything I do...regardless of how hard it may seem at the time. It's called perseverance.
I have had to come to the realization that no one, and no thing is perfect. Things are going to be tough. People are going to talk about me behind my back, and not everyone is going to like me or love me. This perfect little world I was living in before wasn't real. It was what I wanted but it was far from reality. I miss summershine more than I ever thought I would. I miss the team we had. I miss the constant accountability. I miss knowing that I would go to bed each night with a cabin of girls laughing until we fell asleep.
I had people telling me this summer that my happiness was going to come to an end and that all good things will come to an end. That is a lie! I've felt like it within the past month, yes. I have felt defeated and exhausted, but...I was listening to those lies. I can still be happy because happiness is a choice. And that good thing I had this summer, it didn't come to an end. It may have changed but it's still going on...just in different locations....
God is great. Life isn't always easy but it's good =). There's a call on my heart that I have to listen to. I am in Greenville for a purpose. I am in CCF for a purpose. I am where I am for this moment to serve my Father in whatever way He calls me to do...and I'm done running away.
Through the difficult moments I have wondered why. I have wondered why I was around so many awesome people this summer, only to come back to what my life is really like. I have wondered why the accountability I had this summer had to be taken away when I got back to school.
Then I realized...I will never know all the answers. I realized my accountability wasn't taken away. Even though I am not with the people I was with this summer 24 hours a day 7 days a week, they are still my family. They still love me and care about me. I still love them and would do anything in the world for them.
I realized God has a purpose and a plan for me and he's simply been waiting for me to say "yes God I will do what you ask"...He's been waiting for me to realize that there is a call far greater in my life than simply being comfortable and content with my surroundings.
This summer wasn't easy all the time, but I was comfortable. I was content with the people I was living with.
I have to say God has really had to throw me on my tail since I've been home. He's had to show me that the fairy tale I had in my head doesn't exactly exist. He had to help me realize that there is indeed sin in this world and I have to fight against it daily. I have to live my life for Him, and glorify Him through everything I do...regardless of how hard it may seem at the time. It's called perseverance.
I have had to come to the realization that no one, and no thing is perfect. Things are going to be tough. People are going to talk about me behind my back, and not everyone is going to like me or love me. This perfect little world I was living in before wasn't real. It was what I wanted but it was far from reality. I miss summershine more than I ever thought I would. I miss the team we had. I miss the constant accountability. I miss knowing that I would go to bed each night with a cabin of girls laughing until we fell asleep.
I had people telling me this summer that my happiness was going to come to an end and that all good things will come to an end. That is a lie! I've felt like it within the past month, yes. I have felt defeated and exhausted, but...I was listening to those lies. I can still be happy because happiness is a choice. And that good thing I had this summer, it didn't come to an end. It may have changed but it's still going on...just in different locations....
God is great. Life isn't always easy but it's good =). There's a call on my heart that I have to listen to. I am in Greenville for a purpose. I am in CCF for a purpose. I am where I am for this moment to serve my Father in whatever way He calls me to do...and I'm done running away.
August 07, 2009
11 weeks down...1 week to go...
And it's a bitter sweet feeling. This summer has been absolutely amazing. I have learned so much about God, and grown so much in my faith and walk. I've been stretched many times to what may have seemed like the limit, but God continued to be there and help not just me, but everyone.
I can't begin to say how much of a blessing this summer has been. When I started this summer I never would have thought I would absolutely LOVE living with four other girls who I now call amazing friends and sisters. I never thought I could smile about cleaning, or working early and then late. I never thought I could do customer service! But then again, it's not me who has done these things...it is God! He deserves all glory, honor, and praise. This summer is a summer I will never forget.
I arrived May 22, and started working May 23. I injured myself the first day on the job, but survived =). I met amazing families who I will never forget. I received hugs and smiles from the coolest kids I have ever met, and from their Mom's as well.
I laughed about the silliest things...I talked about the most serious things....and I learned what it means to be vulnerable. I learned how to let God truly have control. This summer Mary (the assistant activities director) and myself prayed that God would soften my heart and teach me to really show myself through ways I haven't been able to do before. Since that prayer I have cried...a lot. I have opened myself up, given my testimony in front of complete strangers, and given God glory for it all. Nothing I have done this summer was about me...it was all about God. The summershiner's in Williamsburg could have never been the amazing team we were if it weren't for God.
From the first night we arrived we were already comfortable with each other. We knew and understood each other's personalities (for the most part) and we really united as a team serving God.
This campground wasn't always the easiest to work on. It wasn't always easy to take criticism or go 20 million different ways in one day...it wasn't always easy to take blame for things that weren't your fault...it wasn't always easy to get yelled at by irate campers...but it was easy to let God be the center...and it was easy to let Him shine through. Our prayer each day was simply to be the light God called us to be. "The sun never sets on a summershiner" has been our quote the entire summer...and in the middle of the summer we changed "sun" to "son"--because God's light will never set on us. We came to serve and our job is never complete.
This week Liz leaves on Tuesday and that leaves Mary and myself...I leave next Saturday (the 15th) to go back to NC, which is going to be the hardest thing I have had to do in a while...Mary will be by herself here for 15 days and then I will come back September 1st to help for Labor day.
God has blessed all of us this summer in ways we never expected. He built us into a family and our bond is so strong not even Satan can break it. We love each other and the relationships that God built here will only continue to grow because of the bond we have as brothers and sisters.
My prayer is that we will all continue to have our hearts and minds open to what God has to say to us. Wherever he leads we will follow. Whatever He asks of us we will do. We must remember that just because we leave the KOA and we aren't wearing yellow on our campuses or job sites, we are still shining the light of Christ to people all around us. The world is our camp ground!
Guys never close your hearts and ears to God...He has a lot to say...and you'd be surprised at how much you are willing to do!
I can't begin to say how much of a blessing this summer has been. When I started this summer I never would have thought I would absolutely LOVE living with four other girls who I now call amazing friends and sisters. I never thought I could smile about cleaning, or working early and then late. I never thought I could do customer service! But then again, it's not me who has done these things...it is God! He deserves all glory, honor, and praise. This summer is a summer I will never forget.
I arrived May 22, and started working May 23. I injured myself the first day on the job, but survived =). I met amazing families who I will never forget. I received hugs and smiles from the coolest kids I have ever met, and from their Mom's as well.
I laughed about the silliest things...I talked about the most serious things....and I learned what it means to be vulnerable. I learned how to let God truly have control. This summer Mary (the assistant activities director) and myself prayed that God would soften my heart and teach me to really show myself through ways I haven't been able to do before. Since that prayer I have cried...a lot. I have opened myself up, given my testimony in front of complete strangers, and given God glory for it all. Nothing I have done this summer was about me...it was all about God. The summershiner's in Williamsburg could have never been the amazing team we were if it weren't for God.
From the first night we arrived we were already comfortable with each other. We knew and understood each other's personalities (for the most part) and we really united as a team serving God.
This campground wasn't always the easiest to work on. It wasn't always easy to take criticism or go 20 million different ways in one day...it wasn't always easy to take blame for things that weren't your fault...it wasn't always easy to get yelled at by irate campers...but it was easy to let God be the center...and it was easy to let Him shine through. Our prayer each day was simply to be the light God called us to be. "The sun never sets on a summershiner" has been our quote the entire summer...and in the middle of the summer we changed "sun" to "son"--because God's light will never set on us. We came to serve and our job is never complete.
This week Liz leaves on Tuesday and that leaves Mary and myself...I leave next Saturday (the 15th) to go back to NC, which is going to be the hardest thing I have had to do in a while...Mary will be by herself here for 15 days and then I will come back September 1st to help for Labor day.
God has blessed all of us this summer in ways we never expected. He built us into a family and our bond is so strong not even Satan can break it. We love each other and the relationships that God built here will only continue to grow because of the bond we have as brothers and sisters.
My prayer is that we will all continue to have our hearts and minds open to what God has to say to us. Wherever he leads we will follow. Whatever He asks of us we will do. We must remember that just because we leave the KOA and we aren't wearing yellow on our campuses or job sites, we are still shining the light of Christ to people all around us. The world is our camp ground!
Guys never close your hearts and ears to God...He has a lot to say...and you'd be surprised at how much you are willing to do!
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